That statement got me thinking about Katie's particular leadership style. She is not an 'in your face' personality type. She is more the polar opposite in many ways. Yes, she is stubborn and yes, she has uncompromising values but she rarely loses her cool - well almost never. Because of this, she rarely will tell me directly that something absolutely needs immediate attention. It's not that she hasn't ever made such statements but those occasions are more uncommon than common. She is more comfortable telling me such things as "the gardens need watering" or "I left my purse in the car." These open-ended statements could be taken as rhetorical comments but I know better. What she is really saying is, "I need you to water the gardens and I need you to go get my purse." I wish she would be more direct and in fact she has slowly been moving in that direction.
Often, Katie uses a passive rather than a direct approach. I don’t know if this is her preferred style but is one commonly used. I remember one of the first instances I experienced this leadership style. It remains almost as vivid now as it did some years ago when it took place. As a bit of a preface, we have both a cat and a dog. Katie feeds the cat wet food as a supplement to the dry food she also receives. Each night before bed, Katie she gives the dog the paper plate on which the cat earlier ate her wet food. There is usually almost nothing left but for whatever reason the dog can't wait for us to head to the bedroom knowing she will get what little is left of the semi-dried food the cat didn’t eat.
If Katie does lack confidence as my dominant wife it would be in the area of providing consequences to me for actions of disobedience or ignorance. I can be a stubborn man and I am still stubborn in certain areas of life. Katie will sometimes gently scold me but she has yet to force me to do something against my will as a way to correct parent behavior or to provide me with a means of better remembering things in the future. I don't completely understand why but I highly suspect she does not want to treat me like a child. She has also told me that if she punishes me with corner time it takes me away from being with her. Maybe in time she will think differently but for now, her decision has been made, and as I stated earlier, she can be a stubborn woman.