Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Just do what I tell you

Katie and I got away for a few days last month. We headed to one of her favorite get-away spots and enjoyed two days and two nights all to ourselves.  On the second day– the day before we were to return home – we ate at our favorite restaurant. It’s an Italian place. It’s quaint and cozy and when we arrived they put us at a corner table all by ourselves. How romantic! Last year when we were there Katie ordered carbonara and I had some pasta seafood dish. Both meals were delicious and the helpings were huge. We both left with leftovers made for another dinner the following day.

Prior to getting away this time, we checked the online menu to see what they were serving. Much to Katie’s dismay carbonara was not listed. Katie loves carbonara. It’s one of her favorite meals and although it’s not at all healthy – being full of carbs and bacon and cheese and saturated with a cream sauce that is, well it is absolutely delicious but fattening as can be. Katie wanted carbonara. She wanted it bad and she was bummed when she didn’t see it on the menu.

We called ahead and made reservations. We always make reservations and on the day of our meal we arrived a few minutes prior to our reservation time. That’s because we are never late - never. It's one of those things Katie avoids at all costs.  And so we were on time and the hostess led us to our romantic corner table.  A few minutes later the waitress gave us our menu. We both went to the Pasta section. As expected, there was no listing for carbonara. Katie’s heart sank. When the waitress returned to take our drink order we asked if they still offered carbonara and she informed us that it was something they put on the menu every now and again. But, she added, "the chef might make it for you if she has the ingredients on hand". Her eyes brightened. Hope!  A few minutes later Katie beamed when the news that she could accommodate us.

And so we ate; she with a heaping plate of carbonara and me with a plate of pasta topped with Italian sausage, meatballs and covered in a marinara sauce loaded with peppers, mushrooms, onions, olives, garlic, oregano – all the good stuff that makes my mouth water – the kind of stuff I absolutely love. We had a great time. We ate tons and left with two Styrofoam containers filled with dinner leftovers. 

Now our weekend away happened to come at a time when the weather had turned cold; not real cold but cold enough. The temps were going down to freezing that night and as we drove back to the hotel I asked Katie, “So you want me to leave the leftovers in the trunk?”  

“No bring them in.”

My eyebrows rose but she was driving and didn’t see my reaction. I thought to myself, “It’s going down to 30 tonight – that’s freezing. Isn’t that just as cold as the refrigerator? Isn’t the purpose to keep this stuff cold and are we not leaving tomorrow morning? Is there a reason why you want me to cart this stuff up six floors at 8pm only to cart it back down the following morning to exactly the same place where it is now?”

I kept my mouth shut thinking how ludicrous it was for me to do what she wanted. Just be sure she heard me correctly I asked again just before we got to the hotel. 

“Are you sure you want me to bring the food up to the fridge? It’s going to be cold tonight.” I added that last bit because I knew she’d put two and two together and make a rationale decision.

“No. Bring it up.”

Ugh! And so I did. I didn’t question. I didn’t argue. I didn’t complain or nag. I knew better. I had asked and then made sure a bit later. The answer was the same and it wasn’t going to change.  I didn’t understand her rationale and didn’t opt to press her into a corner. The issue wasn’t a matter of pragmatism but one of obedience. So without saying more and without ever conveying all of my thoughts that all pointed to the same conclusion: “this is an irrational thing to do that makes no sense,” I just did it.

I put the meals in the fridge and we then enjoyed a quiet evening. We had fun. We stayed up late. We slept in. When we woke the following day we got up and opened the sliding door that led to the patio. The sun was shining brightly. The cold had gone. The temps were quickly rising into the upper 50’s if not warmer and I thought about the trunk of my car – sitting out there in the bright sun - on the black pavement - absorbing all of that radiant energy - and I said to myself, “self, aren’t you glad you kept your mouth shut last night and did what you were told with that food?” 

“Yup,” said myself to its other self.

Need I draw the obvious conclusions for you the reader? I didn't think so. :)

I’m Hers

Rule #1: Never disobey Mistress


  1. Exactly. Just do what I tell you .... unless I ask you to opine about what I have told you.

    Be warm and safe this New Year's Eve my friend. Peace and Love to you and your in the coming year.

  2. Thank you! Happy new year to you and your Mistress!

  3. I have bought some books on women leadership and it talks about the vision women have.I feel my wife has this gift and I have learned to listen much more than I have in the past. I do not question just I do what she says and it works for us.Hope you have an awesome 2015...RR

    1. Sorry for misplaced words.. I do this on my phone sometimes and forgot to read before posting.. RR

    2. RR, thank you for the happy new year well wishes. I have not gone so far as to read books solely about female leadership but I'm sure they make valid points. In truth, I believe both men and women both have the potential to be great leaders, especially when their respective abilities are made to work together for the benefit of all. Maybe that's why a WLM works so well - the woman leads but also relies on the input of her submissive husband to make the best decision for them both.

      As to the misspelling - don't worry about it. I do it all the time. Siri doesn't understand me most times either :)

    3. Fortunate for you she was driving and did not see the arched eyebrows. Abby calls mine ‘furrowed’ eyebrows and they definitely are not appreciated. You may think you checked your words, but the body language gives you away every time.

    4. JT, Thanks for stopping by! It's been a while. Hope you had a relaxing holiday. As to the furrowed eyebrows… I had darkness on my side. :-) She couldn't see me and I could hide my dissatisfaction given the cloak of darkness even though her stubbornness turned out to be a wise version of it :-).

      When I wrote this post a week or so later, we both laughed when I read it to her. I think she liked the end result when the weather turned out to prove her right in her decision. I hate when warm fronts moving in at the worst possible times!

  4. I'm glad you opted for obedience for your self, and for your other self, in this instance IH. That's the only way we can get close to those high standards that our wives would like to see us achieve. Plus, your story is a good reminder for all of us to drop of our own conclusions on such matters and do what we are told.

    My wife loves getting my input on things, but loves even more having me support her decisions 100%. Other than agreeing to marry me 31 years ago, Donna has proven to be an excellent decision-maker. You are blessed to have one such as Katie, who is clear on what she wants, and clearly in charge. May you both have a fantastic 2015!


    1. But Scott, it's so much easier to obey her when her decisions and my thinking on her decision coincide. It's so much harder to obey when I think she is off the wall and way out in right field. And then when things turn out just perfect for her in those times of your rational thinking, it makes me roll my eyes. This was one of those times. I can laugh now and I could laugh to myself that following morning when I felt the heat of the sun on my face and knew what would have happened to her precious carbonara had I left it in the car and not done what I was told. She would not have been a happy camper.

      Happy new year to you and to Donna.

  5. I wish my knight would learn that lesson. When he disagrees, he stands there and argues or makes excuses. Good for you.

    1. Angelique,
      I have been keeping up with your blog and can feel your sense of frustration. Like you, Katie does not punish me, nor does she want to. But unlike your husband I am quite compliant and do what I am told. You have a different set of circumstances. I really wish you would consider punishing your husband immediately when he does something that is a direct affront to your authority as the head of the home. You don't need to spank him but if he were to argue with you I believe the only correct option is to demand that he go stand in a corner even if your children are present. Even they could see that it is not healthy for him to argue with you. That's not healthy for your marriage and you could easily justify that action to them. You do not have an easy situation on your hands but I have always believed that it is a manageable one.
      My advice: start over like you said you would do a few posts previous. Make sure he does certain things perfectly all the time. Start small so he can be successful and give him encouragement and recognition of jobs well done. Then build on that, adding an additional responsibility one at a time every so often. Don't go too quickly with this. Take your time and make sure he is doing things correctly-perfectly. Maybe an overriding rule should be that he always obeys you. It puts the ownership of obeying on him but also gives you the freedom and responsibility to enforce his obedience. There has to be consequences when he disobeys. There just has to be. I do wish you well.

  6. It seems to me disobeying in your mind like that shouldn't be happening lol.
    Aren't subs supposed to be obeying happily? :p
    Best wishes, Karen

    1. Agreed! They are. But what if they don't? No one is perfect and not everyone is completely compliant in every situation. Then what? That's what Angelique is dealing with. Interesting blog she has that I hope you are keeping up with. She could rename it "Mistress and her non-compliant sub" :)

  7. I realize I'm no expert, but I would probably just show him the door lol :p