Maybe it was because of what I saw when she got up on a Tuesday morning. I watched her rise after sleeping. She wore only panties and a nighty-her usual sleeping attire. The nighty was lifted revealing the bottom half of her breast. She looked absolutely gorgeous. Tantalizingly so. I made a comment. She smiled appreciatively and left me locked to go shower and dress.
One might call what I kept repeating to myself a mantra. "You do own me. I am yours and will always be yours." "I love you and I will always serve you." "I will always obey you and view you as my mistress and one who has complete authority over me." I don't know that those were the exact phrases I kept replaying in my mind but they were thoughts similar to that.
I understand the power of positive thinking. I understand to some degree that thinking a certain way leads a person to be that certain way. I understand that by memorizing certain things that those things will quickly come to mind when appropriate situations arise. For me, all I want is to be Katie's, to feel her love to feel her authority, to feel her ownership, to feel her power, and to know that I am loved. I want to obey, serve and be her slave. I want to make her the center of my universe and never let my love and servitude to her deviate from that focal point. I wonder if it would be helpful for me to continue to repeat phrases like those again and again-not to brainwash me, but to help me better serve and better obey this woman who is a diamond that for some reason took me as your own. I wonder what phrases Katie would want me to repeat so as to reinforce? Have any of you been required to repeat mantras for this purpose?