Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Statistically Speaking

Katie and I were watching TV when we heard a marriage and family counselor (Dr. Phil) state that having a successful marriage is a 50/50 proposition. About half make it and about half don’t. He went on to say that the chance of a second marriage making it decreases to about 30% (that’s the ‘slot’ where Katie and I fit statistically) but he noted second marriages which came about due to infidelity – meaning the couple was cheating on their former spouse – only has a 5% success rate! Wow! Dr Phil made these comments during his TV show in the context of a woman about to leave her marriage but admitting she also had a lover on the side. He pleaded with her to drop the guy because he knew (statistically) her relationship with him would likely be over within a year or so – regardless how she felt about the guy now.

I hugged Katie when I heard his brief comments telling her I never wanted to be one of those statistics. She agreed. None of do no matter if this is a first-time marriage or a fourth go at it. There is so much pain and anguish when we leave the very person we at one point loved so much.

My initial thought when I listened to him rattle off those percentages was “I hope she keeps me locked.” It’s not like I have any plans on leaving Katie or cheating. I am very much in love with her but I know that no one going into a marriage ever assumes they will be divorcing within a year or five or 10 or 25.  I know I am not above reproach. I know I am able to be tempted just as much as the next guy. I understand the power of the female body and lure. It is for this reason that I hope my Mistress keeps close tabs on me – that she keeps me locked when we are apart, that she makes an effort to keep me close when we are together, that she tells me – and shows me – with unquestioning convincingness that she loves me and wants me just for herself.

There is no better place to be emotionally than knowing you are surrounded completely in the love of the woman whom you are married. There is no better feeling. I told her last night, “I love feeling owned. Feeling owned goes deeper than feeling loved.” But words are cheap. Actions speak volumes. They convey a 1,000 times more potently than words. I love “feeling” Katie’s love so much more than I love hearing it.  Does that make sense? I love it when she crawls on me and around me and on top of me when I get in bed. She pulls me into her and wraps her arms and legs around me, bucks her hips like she is doing ‘you know what’ and groans one of those groans that says “I love you and you are all mine”.  I love it when we make love. I love her moving on me knowing I am the source of her pleasure. I love it when she lets me move within her knowing she loves me ‘this’ much to let me enjoy her body in this way.  I love when she tells me, “we are going out to eat” and I know it’s to one of our favorite places – one filled with so many fond memories.  I love when she tells me that “we are leaving the house by 11 AM” and I know that I need to get a move on to meet her deadline – that her words are inferring, “you better get a move on”.  I love when she waits, standing outside in the chilly air, for me to open the door. I love when she tells me we will be going to the local sports bar to watch my favorite football team play, because we don’t have the NFL network.

It’s the little things she does that speak volumes. Grabbing my crotch, telling me it’s time for breakfast, letting me do chores she could easily do herself, dressing to seduce me or a thousand other things that she does that conveys “you are mine and I love you” feeling.  I hope we never stop doing those little things that made us know how much the other loved. We’ve stopped doing some and I hope we replace the ones we’ve stopped doing with others.  It’s the little things that convey love.  Yes getting the $50,000 Lexus with the big red bow on the top for Christmas works but so does a pair of panties in my stockings! It doesn’t take $ to convey love. It takes effort and overt actions mostly.

I hope you think of all the little things you could be doing for your spouse – or your loved one – to keep your marriage fresh and alive. Don’t become a statistic.

I’m Hers


  1. I read your words with awe. So very well put I want my wife/Mistress to read this one.

  2. Cagedmonkey and I almost became one of those statistics. I like to think wee best the odds! Great post!

    ~Lady M

  3. Oh wise and sage brother sub ..... once again you've assembled in such a way as to accurately describe the essence of love, and especially in a FLM. I especially enjoyed the descriptions of the little things that you love, like when she will wait in the chilly air for you to come and open the door. Mistress K. will do that as well and it has always been one of my favorite things. I believe she looks so beautiful, standing there erect and in anticipation of her husband rushing to service her with a simple act of opening a door.

    I love how your posts are primarily about how you love your wife and your devoted submission. Thanks for being here IH.


  4. Gentlemen and Lady M, Thank you for all of your positive feedback. I appreciate the warm fuzzies but even more hope that posts like this and of similar ones written by others keep us tuned to the needs and desires of the one we love most. It's easy to think of him/her over the holiday season but it's imperative we continue 'giving' throughout the entire year. I know I'm preaching to the choir here as you all live consciously caring for your significant other.

    Have a wonderful day.

    1. It's what your posts and comments tend to always do IH ... keep me inspired and tuned to the needs of my Mistress. You are so very good at that, plus you're kind of a funny guy too. Have a great weekend my friend and thanks again for the continued inspiration.

  5. Sweetheart, that is a most beautiful posting. In so may ways it captures what is so special about femdom. It is the caring, the loving, and may be most of all the intimacy. There are so many marriages that look ok on the out side, but are really rotting on the inside. So many couples lack true intimacy in their lives. In the world today intimacy and love is what we are looking for. Instead, we strive for secular values, the new car or whatever, instead of what really matters.

    In so many ways it would be a better world if more couples adopted some aspects of femdom.
    I have always believed that couples who talk, who really talk, tend to stay together. There were a time in our marriage when John and I drifted apart. At first you don't really notice anything different. Then there comes a time when you wonder if the marriage can be saved, or even if it is worth saving.

    For us femdom is not about having a man to do the chores as it is about having the intimacy with the man. If it were only about the chores we could hire a maid service. Everyday I receive at least one email from a man who tells me things about him self that he will not tell to his wife. In a way it makes me sad. By not telling her about his submissive nature he is depriving her of the opportunity to be a better wife-to be more loving spouse. Many times both the husband and the wife want the same thing, but can't find it with each other. It is really there, but they don't know how to look for it.

    And, on a lighter note, I also give panties to John. And, I also enjoy having him model the panties . And yes, if any one wants to know we put on music and John dances for me. He loves doing if, and I love watching him dance. He will never be on America's got talent, but he knows how to please mistress. I hope that Katie allows you to dance for her.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Love, Kathy

    1. Kathy,
      Very rarely do I have full "bellylaughs" when I read post but I did when you mentioned how you have John dance for you in the new panties you just gave him. I could picture you reclining on a made bed having just put music on with him standing at the foot of the bed naked except for his new gift and you waving your hand whimsically, indicating for him to go on and dance for you.

      It made me smile. I'm sure those are fun times for both of you. Have a wonderful holiday.

  6. Hi IH,

    I wholeheartedly agree with Mistress Kathy. This posting is among your very best and it touched me on so many levels. You are so right that the little things we do for each other mean so much. You also made me feel a bit guilty in that I often get lazy and don't do the little things for her that I should be doing from time to time. As a result, I'm going to make a concerted effort to be a better spouse and do those special little things more often. I guess I sometimes start to feel neglected when she doesn't acknowledge them, but that's just being selfish. I shouldn't be doing them to be acknowledged, I should be doing them out of my love and desire to serve her. Thanks so much for helping put me back on the right track. Hope you and Mrs Katie have a wonderful holiday.

    1. Wishful4,
      Thanks for your comments friend. Hope you have an enjoyable holiday too. As to your comment, it's only human for someone to want to hear "thank you" after something is done for another person. I think I would feel the same way. Keep up the good work.

  7. Being locked in a chastity belt is a on again off again thing for us.Its on now.I find that when it has been on for a few days,I want to spend all my time with my wife ,doing daily chores that she normally does so she don't have to.I want to cuddle with her and just be as close to her as I can be all the time.Its not about the sex,but the closeness I feel ,just to be with her and help her.I am not good with words or writing,but after a few days of this chastity belt ,I be gain to feel just as you have discribed in this post.My wife always notices the change in me as well,but does not have me the CB all he time ,and I begin to go back to my old ways.

  8. Fabricater, thanks for stopping by to share your thoughts. My own opinion is about why you (and me) act differently when locked has nothing to do with the wearing of an appliance. Rather I think that when a man is locked he thinks about his spouse more often; he realizes that he is submissive to her dominance and as a result his behavior is different. For some men wearing a collar might do the trick or being required to check in with his wife every hour, or being disciplined, or, or or...... The bottom line is an increased awareness on one partners part to the other. That is my hunch anyway.

  9. Baby, thank you for responding to my last comment. Very often people who read my blog think femdom is all about work, discipline, and punishment. In actuality nothing could be further from the truth. John and I laugh and play together more than most people for our age. In many ways femdom has kept us young at heart. And yes, there are few things more fun or funny then having you man do a strip tease to the music. a girl friend of mine sent her guy to a pole dancing class .Kathy

    1. You make me laugh! I love it! On a serious note, you hit then nail on the head that femdom is all about love - or should be. Everything else is nothing more than things that help to build a deeper love relationship and if they are a part of a relationship and have a purpose that is separate from that goal it's probably not a good thing. Meaning - if chastity is used other than to show love and devotion, what good is it to the building of the relationship? Might have to write a post on that topic :)

  10. You paint a nice picture of what a loving, intimate marriage can be like, IH. The beauty of an FLR is that we husbands have a wonderful opportunity - and an obligation - to invest in the marriage. If we don't deliver the romance, the loving service, the attentive listening & companionship, and whatever else our beautiful wives desire, the Female Led Relationship will cease to be.

    If we remember to surprise and delight, as well as obey, the one we love, the relationship keeps getting better and better!

    My life is definitely more rewarding with Donna and the kids getting my time, energy and attention. We love being around each other now more than any time in our marriage. In fact, I didn't feel bummed at all on Sunday about the Packers losing to the Bills. Donna kindly told me that afternoon that she had Complete and Total Domination over me, and I've been smiling ever since; even during the cold shower she made me take!

    Thanks for the great reminder to keep our marriages fresh and alive, IH.