Tuesday, December 16, 2014

We Must Be Boring

As a follow up to the last post.....

While Katie and I were watching Dr Phil (to those of you not in the USA he is a counselor that made it big on the Oprah Winfrey show many years ago. Now he has his own show on TV and discusses topics of psychological interest – often interviewing individuals/couples experiencing various life issues. In any event, the couple that he had on this day had a marriage that was on the rocks. They yelled at one another, told the doc how one threw the other out of the house - locking them out, and then pleaded for them to come back a day later, yada yada yada….

The doc looked at his wife who sat in the front row and said, “Honey, we must live a boring life. All we do is watch Law and Order reruns.”  

The audience laughed and it made me think: here we are doing the exact same thing. Katie and I were sitting at home on an afternoon with nothing to do watching the Dr Phil show – and actually enjoying our time together!  Today I left her a card before I headed off to work. It was a simple card that said “my favorite place to be – is anywhere with you.” There was a boy and girl sitting side by side on a tree branch looking all lovey-dovey at one another. I knew Katie would like it. As for me, I like to add personal touches to cards so I wrote on the inside of this card things like: taking walks, snuggling in bed, eating out, watching our grand-daughter, gardening, watching TV, going grocery shopping, driving in the car, etc….. I filled the card with examples of everyday things that make up our everyday life.

Katie and I, like Dr Phil and his wife, and probably you and your significant other are boring people. Our days are filled with routine. I work 5 days a week. I do the same chores. On weekends we pretty much do the same things. When we go out to eat, we generally go to the same few places every time. We hang out with our same group of friends. We make love in the same positions. We are creatures of habit and routine – and – we – love – it!  We have found the boring things we do together are fun and fulfilling and bonding and keep us close.  Now we also have a bit of femdom that overrides all of those routine chores and events that makes our love for one another even deeper – and things a bit more fun, but we really don’t do lots of eccentric things. Those things – trips, vacations, concerts, holiday traveling, theater, are ‘treats’ that break up the routine. That’s both good and bad. We look forward to them and we are generally glad to come home where we can get back to the routine that is so comfortable.

These next few weeks will take us out of that routine as the holidays do every December. I love Christmas – mostly because I get off work for several days and have more time to hang out with Katie and watch Dr. Phil reruns while he is on his own vacation spending time with his family.  To hang out with her – my best friend is a treat indeed!

Merry Christmas to all.

I’m Hers


19 comments:

  1. What seems boring to one couple is very interesting to another couple. To me no matter what we do together it's never boring just because we are doing it together.
    archedone

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    1. Archedone, Preach it! I agree completely :)

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  2. I hear ya brother. Boring is not a word I would use to describe your routine with your beloved Katie. Routine? Yes? Familiar? Yes? Awesome? Yes .... but not boring.

    Mistress K. is my second wife. In my first marriage, everyday when I would come home from work, while the garage door was rising, if I could the tires and then the bumper of my then wife's car, my shoulders slumped and a sigh of GUH would leave my body. Conversely, if no car was present that meant I had at least a few minutes when I didn't have to be in the same house with her. NOT a good way to live one's life.

    With Mistress K., the exact opposite is true. Always has been. If I am not with her for whatever reason, I very much do want to be with her. Sometimes I actually ache to be with her. Not in a weirdo, co-dependent way but in a "man do I love this woman" way. Ever since I feel in vanilla love with I have felt that way. Not wanting to ever allow that feeling to wane over time is the primary reason why I approached my beloved then-vanilla wife to be my Mistress, Keyholder, Dominant and Queen.

    Another great collection of words there my friend.

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    1. sub hub, I could feel your pain and angst with the garage door analogy. I've been there too and how sad it is that a relationship with one that we loved so much deteriorated to 'that'. That is the sadness of growing apart. That is the all too common statistic that I referred to not so long ago. That is where you and I need to sprint in the opposite direction from should we ever feel we are moving in that direction. Don't let me go there SHIP and I'll do the same for you. It's called having a support group and I feel supported by you - even if you do cheer for 'that' team :) Have a merry Christmas!

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    2. So, we'll be each other's wingman? I love that idea. I think it will be a pretty easy job my submissive brother. I started on the journey to and FLM (unbeknownst to me at the time) because of a simple comment Mistress K. made to me when were still only vanilla. She said "I wonder what our love will be like when the kids are grown and gone". That stopped me in my tracks. I declared right then to her that I would not let my love slowly die to the point that when we found ourselves alone in the house, that we wouldn't have anything in common. She committed to the same thing. Long story short, it brought us to our beautiful WLM and I couldn't be more grateful.

      Of course you are supported by me IH and I feel that I have that same level of support from you. You're the calm, sagey wise one that so many look to shine a light on their path. Holy smokes, you even have Kathy weighing in over there. Very impressive. Very impressive.

      I really do value having "met" you here and friendship that has developed. Merry Christmas to you too buddy!

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  3. Hi I'm Hers,

    What you describe is not boring it's the cerment that keeps the relationship alive. Both you and sub hub in phx share your lives with the most wonderful Ladies. It's routine that although tedious at times is also a comfort, especially in times of stress and uncertainty.

    I wonder what Dr Phil would make of our way of living?

    Oh, by the way what's your view on Feminism, does it really advance the cause of Women? Would FLM/R be far better? Are they the same? (I think not but you may disagree).

    Anyway I hope your gentle soul mate and you have a fab Christmas.

    Regards
    m

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  4. m, Thank you for the well wishes. I agree that what I described is not boring but rather, as sub hub suggested - routine. But those were the words of Dr Phil and so I used them. Being together in all that we do is the beauty of my relationship with Katie - as most likely every one's relationship - if we love them. Hanging out with a best friend - and just being together is the best because it is bonding at so many levels.

    I'll address your feminism comment later but the short answer is: I agree with you.

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  5. Your post cracked me up. Donna and I don't watch Dr. Phil, but we do watch Criminal Minds reruns together almost every night. We pretty much do everything together and cherish every second of it. We couldn't do that for the first 27 years of our marriage. We'd end up arguing or bickering about something stupid, and then need time away from each other.

    Donna and I haven't had an argument in about two years now that she has become my Beautiful Goddess, and my favorite place in the world is by her side, or even better, at her feet. I think I bought Donna that same card you gave to Katie, the one that said "my favorite place to be - is anywhere with you", though I didn't write in all those little examples like you did, IH.

    Hope you have a Merry Christmas as well, my friend!

    Scott

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    1. Scott, what in the world did I say that cracked you up? :-). I'm glad you and Donna can watch your own reruns together and enjoying it-and do so without bickering over something stupid. Isn't being second fiddle a great place to be? Have a Merry Christmas!

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  6. This was very nice. Thank you.
    J

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  7. I tell you, that garage door opening line was so spot on it was scary. It really sums up the feeling I experienced so many times when the phone rang on a weekend telling Abby someone else was covering her on call position, meaning she had the whole day free to spend at home. You could almost feel the frost forming on the windows.
    Fast forward to our new understanding in marriage. Same scenario, same woman, totally different experience. It just echoes what Scott said in his comment about cherishing our time together. Now I hope for the phone call that frees up her day so we can spend it together, boring as it may be.

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    1. So very well said j thornbuck. Those of us who are lucky enough to fully understand the unmitigated joy for both people in a truly loving FLM need to be ambassadors for it, to the extent we are able.

      Merry Christmas brothers!

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    2. JT, glad to hear you were able to turn things around. Thanks for stopping by.

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  8. I thought of this post last night. My One and I fell asleep on the couch together. Opposite ends of the couch, but holding hands. I on my tablet playing Words with Friends, and I am honestly not remembering what he was doing. I woke up after some time, (screen was timed out...) and thought ohhh.... We are like THAT couple........ lol
    I got up and announced I was going to bed. It was 9:30.... Oh yes, we are that couple too....

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    1. Willow Fae, don't you think that every couple is 'that' couple :) I do. We all have those 'boring' routines that we just love and feel super comfi doing all the time. I'm glad yours is crashing on the sofa playing Words with Friends while your hubby holds your hand and falls asleep near you. Have a wonderful holiday! Merry Christmas

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    2. I live in the Midwest and when the time change comes and it gets dark early and starts getting cold my wife and I spend a lot more time inside and seem to watch more tv than we normally do. The good news is it's the first day of winter and the days start getting longer. My wife and I love winter and the snow just don't like the shorter hours. You and Katie do not sound a bit boring to me at all as I tell my wife about you WLR as it seems we always have so much in common with ours. I truly hope you both have a wonderful Christmas and New Year as well.RR

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    3. Yes, I'm-Hers, I think in many ways, most of us are all that couple. I enjoy that couple. Sometimes I miss the wildness of not having the responsibility of children, but so many times, I just embrace that this comes with age.... Right??
      Have a wonderful holiday. I am going to enjoy My One's wonderful pies that he makes. And I am just preparing now to make some cookies for Santa ya know.... ;-)

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