Tuesday, January 6, 2015

It's still early in the game

I don’t know about other bloggers but when I get an idea I write it down or send myself a detailed text or email – something to remind me of the thought or event that came to pass.  I have several such notes in a folder and since I have been pretty brain-dead recently with respect to femdom thoughts I delved into the folder.

It was night. Katie and I were in bed. The lights were out. It was late – probably a Friday or Saturday night. I had myself wrapped around her from behind like I often do - one arm lay under her neck, the other around her body. I had just given her a massage for the past hour. She was relaxed and feeling loved and attended to.

One of the fears she expressed when we first considered this alternative lifestyle with her assuming control was a fear of changing for the worse. She didn’t want to become that kind of a woman, that kind of a wife. She didn’t want me to think of her as a bitch. That was about three years ago.  As I lay behind her I thought of that past conversation and of her now and said,

“See, you haven’t become a bitch after all; since becoming my Mistress,” I added. If fact you’ve become even more beautiful as a person.”

To my surprise she answered, “It’s early on in this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we’ve only been doing this for a while and we have a long way to go.”


“Are you telling me you might become a bitch?”

“I might.”

Her comments surprised me. I hadn’t expected such candidness from a woman seemingly so passive in the way she leads. I would have never thought that she thought such things as 'we are just beginning', 'we have a long way to go' and 'I might become a bitch'.  I still don’t know what she means by the statement that it is still early in the game but my guess is she sees me becoming more submissive than I am now.  And I don’t even know what more submissive means to her. More trained? Doing more things? More chores? Becoming more deferential?  I really don’t know and she isn’t one to wear her thoughts on her sleeve. She can be difficult to read.

When I reflect on those words it makes me drool with anticipation. They give me hope that there will be more, that she will become more affirmative, more confident, more overt as my Mistress and in the way she leads our home. She will always be my Katie-girl and best friend, but like I said in my last post: to feel owned is a feeling of being loved that is greater than just ‘being loved’.  It’s a layer of love on top of the love she already has for me. Conversely, to know she is firmly planted as my forever-Mistress gives me reason to love her even more than before. I am a lucky man. Hopefully she feels she is equally lucky to have me too.

I’m Hers

17 comments:

  1. From another submissive man let me say well put. Our relationship has brought us closer together. My Mistress has been submissive and it was hard for her to take control. She has found she loves it and loves the way I submit to her. It sounds like your Mistress has more ideas on where to take you. Enjoy the trip I'm sure she will do it with love.
    archedone

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    1. Archdone, I am so glad to hear that your wife has taken to this lifestyle so well. I just reread the post-as I wrote it some time ago-maybe four or five weeks previous. My thoughts on Katie are much different now than at the time of this writing. She is currently more in a passive, "I'll take it easy on him" mode. Just this morning when I came downstairs she grabbed my crotch and didn't feel the cage on. Rather than telling me to go up and lock she said nothing and I didn't protest. Oh well, it is what it is.

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  2. IH, you've done it again. It's uncanny how (to me) you are in my head, clearly thinking the same thing I am and then will put it into a well formed collection of words. I was moved by the post. So much so that I forwarded the link to Mistress to read.

    Needless to say, I couldn't agree with you more here.

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    1. SHIP, I have noticed a trend in your posts lately. I can tell that you desire "more". I do too :-). Sometimes I think we are moving in that direction and at other times I think we are either standing still or lapsing back into an older way that is less D/s and more vanilla. Katie can be one hard woman to read and now is one of those times. Time will tell and I will take whatever she is willing to give. I know you will do the same with yours. Take care.

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  3. Hi I'm-Hers,
    Yes I too send myself emails all the time, ideas of all sorts, sometimes even things I see which I think I could use in a story, there's one in my inbox at the moment actually which reads 'I love making you beg me to suck his cock, it just shows how pathetic you are.' I might never use it, but from that one line I could conceivably construct a whole story.
    Am I the only one who felt a slight stirring in the groin area on reading your post? Probably not. Kind of funny that such a non-sexual post could cause that, but then I'm sure many of us would appreciate the underlying 'menace' of the situation. Fingers crossed for you that she lives up to your fantasy.We could all use a little more bitch in our wives huh?
    :)

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    1. RA,
      Thanks for stopping by to share. I think that there are probably many of us that write that have some sort of "file" that we used to keep ideas from vanishing into oblivion and never resurfacing.

      I just responded to Kathy's comment, see below, and addressed her concerns about me using the "bitch" word. You mentioned it as well and really I don't want Katie to ever become a mean spirited wife (a bitch). I do hope she embraces her dominance. I do hope that she becomes confident in both ruling/supervising me as well as leading us as a couple. I hope she becomes intolerable with respect to me falling short but I hope she never ever loses respect for the man she is married to. To do so would probably label her as a bitch and I don't like thinking of her as that. Thanks again for taking time to write a response.

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    2. Hi I'm Hers
      I've just read the post lower down the page about the 'bitch' thing... obviously your intent wasn't to associate 'bitch' with Katie'. I think when we think of 'bitches' what appeals is some of the character traits, but not the whole package. Probably the most obvious ones are self-confidence and not being willing to be second best to anyone. These are pretty much cornerstones of the Domme character aren't they, hence my line that we could all use a little more 'bitch' in our wives.
      I used to be in a band with a guy who's girlfriend really was a first class bitch, and I certainly wouldn't have wanted anything to do with her whatsoever.

      Keep up the good work!

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  4. I'm Her's,

    I admire how Katie does not show all her cards. My Donna is that way and it keeps me on my toes and teaches me patience. It is very exciting that Katie is mindful of the long-term prospects of your relationship and is making you wonder if she intends to "become a bitch", or wants to carefully avoid doing so over the long haul. Either way, I'm glad you appreciate Katie for being the wonderful woman that she is and you are not afraid to show it.

    Don't forget to politely ask for things that you feel you may need to sustain yourself. You want to keep serving, obeying and pampering Katie to the best of your ability and if there is something she can do to help you stay energized and focused, it can be helpful to ask. Katie is a busy a woman, and you want to be low-maintenance of course, but it is your duty to be honest with your feelings. That's my two cents-worth of advice, my friend!

    I know that you'll love her and support her no matter what, but I imagine Katie is open to hearing your requests on things that you crave, even the weird ones. I'm not saying you might have weird requests, of course.

    Thanks for the thought-provoking post about such a short but important conversation, IH.

    Kind regards,

    Scott

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    1. Hello friend! Hope you're having a wonderful day and not in the deep freeze as many of us in the eastern half of the country are experiencing. Thanks for your words of advice with regard to asking for things from Katie to keep me energized and serving. In some ways I view my service much the same way I view parenting. It's something that you have no choice about but rather do both because that is the adults' responsibility as well as their role after bringing a new born into the world. Submission is very much of the same thing. I committed to it and so it is what it is. It is my life both when I feel submissive and when I don't. It doesn't change my position within the marriage. Do you see where I am coming from?

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    2. I agree with Scott. I would want to know how my hubby feels and what he's desiring or missing. J :)

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    3. We're dealing with winter's fury here in the Great Lakes area, but Donna and I are blessed with a weekend at home and plenty of firewood and wine to keep us toasty inside!

      Sounds like you feel a great sense of commitment and responsibility in serving Katie, not to mention a deep and abiding love for her.

      Hope you two have a great weekend!

      Scott

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  5. Baby, this was another good post. Both John and I enjoyed reading it and talking about what you said. There was one word in the post, however, that struck a raw nerve with me. The bitch word.
    To began with the word bitch was originally associated with a female dog, and while the meaning has changed over the years, it is still a bit of an ugly sounding word. In my opinion the bitch word should never be used by a man in referring to the woman who loves and rules him. If anything, as the relationship develops into more of a femdom nature, she should become more of a goddess in his eyes. And yes, from what I have seen, as time goes on wives tend to become more and more demanding with their men. We expect a higher degree of obedience, and are more willing to punish.
    This is part of the duty we accept in becoming mistress wives. Our marriage was in a Christian church. It was a sacrament in the eyes of God. In becoming my husband's mistress, I am doing the work God intended me to do. The mistress wife may be demanding, she may punish, but she does so with the idea of making her man into a better version of himself; a better husband, and a better father. A man should always be conscious of the fact that it is a privilege to be ruled by a woman who loves him. In our society far too few men enjoy the privilege you have of being under Katie's rule. It is a privilege that you should be thankful for. In no way, in no corner of you mind should the bitch word ever be associated with Katie. Love, Kathy

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    1. Kathy,
      Thank you so much for taking the time to write and to be honest about your thoughts and in a way confront me with my choice of words. I take no offense but rather appreciate the fact that you cared enough to ask.
      The bitch word is not a word that I used when we first had this conversation way back when, about the changes that might take place in both of us should we walk down this road of a female led relationship and eventually a wife led marriage. Katie used this word. She used it intentionally to describe a change that she viewed as a negative one and one that she didn't want to become her-ever. When I brought this up recently in the conversation that I wrote about I used that word, not in any way to be offensive or insinuating that she had become this kind of woman, but rather one to remind us both of that conversation some years back.
      I treasure Katie more than I can describe in words. She is the love of my life and always will be. I feel about her the way John feels about you. I'm certain of that. Thank you for asking the question. I am really glad that you did

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  6. IH, I've always connotated the word "mistress" with "the other woman". So there's kind of a struggle I have with exactly how to see the word "mistress" in a marriage relationship. Do you know what I mean? Maybe you can write blog entry about that some time. I'm going to ask Kathy about that too. Thank you. J

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    1. Too late for my friend IH to be the first to blog about it because, as i am sure you are aware, Kathy already has.

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  7. Thank you sweetheart for not taking offense of my criticism of your use of the 'bitch' word. One of the ways that the experience with John has affected me is that I have become very direct with men.
    With women I have more of a tendency to talk things through. Becky and I can talk about things for hours. With men I have more of a tendency to tell them what to do as if I am their instructor of some type. Not all men want to be told what to do. Not all men are as accepting of my personality as you are. You are one of those special angles whom I would love to hug and kiss.

    Kathy

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