Friday, February 6, 2015

Firm Love

It was sometime during the end of November when this flurry happened.  At first I didn’t notice it but when a pattern started to develop I took a moment to jot down her words. Here’s what I wrote:
"You will never, ever, do that!" (I had indicated that I was going to blow my nose by closing one nostril with a finger and exhaling forcefully through the other. Yea, I’m a guy!)
"Pick that up."
"Fix this. I can’t figure it out."
"Go on, (she shooed me with a brush of her hand), I’ll be out in a minute."
"Roll over." (We were in bed and she wanted to snuggle mostly on me rather than next to me)
"Let’s go." (Indicating it was time to leave. She walked out and I hurriedly followed.)
“We should leave by 3:30,” I said. “No, we will leave by 3:20” she replied flatly.
Sometime later in the day I commented how much I had (and was) enjoying her directness.  She barely acknowledged my comment but I knew she heard me. She always hears me.
There is something about this tone of speach that fills a part of me that I can’t explain.  One might interpret she is being a bitch by the arrogance of her remarks – acting as if she is entitled. On another level one might think she’s having a bad day and not in the mood for anything but being bossy. Neither is true. She’s simply being Mistress Katie and my interpretation of her statements and directives is that she is expressing her confidence and ownership of me by the bluntness of her statements. She knows I am hers and those statements reveal the freedom she has to just tell me the way it is. Those words, those comments fill my soul like not much else can. I love it! I wish she was this way more often, yet I know it needs to come from within. As time marches on, little by little it is becoming more common. It’s been a slow, painfully slow process, but she is changing. I ache for the day when she calls me out from the middle of a shower to go fetch something for her or tell me this food is not prepared right and to do it over properly. Oh, I can only dream.
Today I read a wonderful post by Kathy. I believe it was titled ‘Thoughts on a Monday’ and it was written on 12/15 if you care to read it.  I hadn’t gotten a chance to read the blogs until that Thursday but noticed a comment posted by a ‘Sandra’. She stated the following:
“Women with little or no experience and sometimes even those with experience fail to understand the submissive male’s need to serve. It's not a desire, a kink or a game, it's a need.
By feeling guilty of asking too much of them; by not desiring to push them too hard, and perhaps making them uncomfortable, women cheat them out of the service they crave to perform, and confine our femdom relationships to something less than what they could be.Our men want to give us so much and serve us in ways we can only dream of. In return they want us to be confident enough to demand it, expect it and then accept it freely and without guilt.”
Wow. What profound words. What a loving comment. I envy her husband. Her comment made me hard. It aroused me. I could feel the congestion building in the cage I was wearing. It spoke to me because what she said is this: submissive men like me and so many others have emotional needs that are somehow met when a women expresses dominance and in some respects becomes a bitch – but does so with the purpose of meeting the known needs of her husband.
What Sandra is saying (at least from my perspective) is that if a wife knows her husband is submissive, she does him (and her!) a disservice by refusing to express her love by not insisting he do things perfectly or promptly. She robs herself by not correcting him when a task isn't done to her liking or done wrong, or not done at all. She robs them both when she refuses to remind him she owns him; that he is her property and his primary purpose in life is serving her.
That is my dream Katie right there. If Katie was like ‘that’ all the time I’d want her even more. My heart would race more often when we're together. It would be difficult for me not to kneel before her.
I gave her a long hug today and she held me for at least a minute. While we embraced I told her that I have a need to be here – to be held, to be close to her body, to feel her love and affection. I have that need because I view her has my Mistress. I now call her Mistress predominately. I didn’t plan to. It’s just happened; just evolved. It’s how I view her and I view her as that because she periodically expresses dominance - not always - not mostly - but enough. If it happened mostly…. Well I can only wish.
Ladies, I hope you understand the wisdom in Sandra’s words. I hope you grasp the wisdom in Kathy’s words (Femdom 101 blog). Your dominance, your demanding, pushing, stretching, expectant attitude might be the best Christmas gift you could ever give him.  I hope you will consider this ‘other’ way of expressing love to the man who wants to serve you and live beneath you.
I’m Hers


  1. Hi I’m Hers,

    I've been away too long, work etc, very boring.

    I have been enjoying you blog when I get the chance; and Firm Love really hits a chord with me. Being commanded and instructed is what as a sub I really love.

    Both of us are lucky to be in a position to serve.

    Not sure about being called out of the shower to redo the food, dare I say this I would regard this as a failure on my part and I would be ashamed.

    In regards to calling a Woman Mistress I have always found it easier to call a Woman Mistress than not. To me it’s natural to acknowledge a Dominant Ladies authority over me and Mistress is a term to me that fits the bill.

    Incidentally at Devotions (Femdom Club) we attend the house rules state that all the Ladies are to be addressed at Mistress, it keeps things simple, polite and respectful.

    I can see how the word can be used in more than one meaning, however in a Femdom relationship/encounter there can be little doubt I feel to its worth and clarity.

    I’m hoping to blog soon and will try to keep up with both you and Kathy’s pace.

    Have a great week.


    1. m,
      Life gets busy sometimes. I understand that. Sometimes I will rip off 4-5 posts in a day or so, get them approved by Katie and then not write again for 3-4 weeks. I am going to get real busy again in March and hope to stock up on posts so as to free myself from the blog - other than answering those that comment. I do agree with the Mistress comment. I call Katie that about 50% of the time, maybe more.

      I've never been to a femdom club. Don't know that I ever will. It's not Katie's thing although there was a day when I pressed her to consider. She didn't budge and now I know better than to ask. I'm learning.
      Have a great week.

  2. Hello I-H
    Thank you for blog. I am a first time responder. Also fairly new into an FLR with my wife. I I share your desire to live more directly and firmly under the authority of our wives. It appears that Katie is learning to embrace this approach to life - just maybe not as quickly as you would like. I have much the same feelings. However, I have to keep reminding myself and I am no longer the one in charge. She is. And I must learn to be patient. As with Katie, my Cathy has come a very long way in her authority over me and our household. She no longer feels awkward about my wanting to sit at her feet; in fact she is more expecting it from me. How that floor by the couch feels hard after an hour or two of watching the TV programs that she wants us to watch. Yet i love being there - and I think she is learning to love me being there. Many thanks for giving me the courage to share my thoughts on FLRs.

  3. Hi Tom, I am so glad you took the time to share some thoughts and hope you stop by many more times. Like you stated the final product of a WLM will ultimately be a reflection of the wife that runs the marriage. You stated "It appears that Katie is learning to embrace this approach to life - just maybe not as quickly as you would like." My response to that is that Katie has fully embraced a WLM but that embracing means that she is more lay-back than other wives. It's not that she embraces it any less but rather does so with a different end product.

    Please stop by again. You will remain simply 'Tom' who is from somewhere on Earth :) That's pretty anonymous.

    1. I'm new to blogging so I don't know how to create an identity. Any suggestions?

    2. Read this:

  4. I hope my wife doesn't translate me sending her thispost as topping, but damn, how could i not send her this! Amazing, so well articulated.
    We are relatively new to our FLR and blogs and posts such as this are not only educational, but are also inspiring.
    Thank you.