Monday, February 23, 2015
Why women leave men they love
Katie showed me the below passage some time ago. I copied and pasted it. It’s written by someone who lives in BC Canada. It’s quite sobering. It’s sad. It’s insightful. To those of you who are men and have submitted, a good part of why you submitted may have been (probably should have been) to avoid what this person wrote. To those of you that are dominant women, this passage speaks to why you need to insist, even demand, that you stay all over your man to make sure he holds fast to his role as your submissive. To those women who live in the everyday average marriage (one where you do your thing and he does his) and you are not satisfied, you may want to strongly consider taking charge of the man you love and thereby avoid the sad story below.
I don’t have much to say that can add to what is written. It’s profound as a stand-alone post. I’d love to hear your feedback and thoughts.
“As a marriage counselor working with men and women in relationship crisis, I help clients navigate numerous marriage counseling issues. While many situations are complex, there’s one profoundly simple truth that men need to know. It’s this – Women leave men they love.
They feel terrible about it. It tears the heart out of them. But they do it. They rally their courage and their resources and they leave. Women leave men with whom they have children, homes and lives. Women leave for many reasons, but there’s one reason in particular that haunts me, one that I want men to understand:
Women leave because their man is not present. He’s working, golfing, gaming, watching TV, fishing… the list is long. These aren’t bad men. They’re good men. They’re good fathers. They support their family. They’re nice, likeable. But they take their wife for granted. They’re not present.
Women in my office tell me “Someone could come and sweep me off my feet, right out from under my husband.” Sometimes the realization scares them. Sometimes they cry.
Men – I’m not saying this is right or wrong. I’m telling you what I see. You can get as angry or hurt or indignant as you want. Your wife is not your property. She does not owe you her soul. You earn it. Day by day, moment to moment. You earn her first and foremost with your presence, your aliveness. She needs to feel it. She wants to talk to you about what matters to her and to feel you hearing her. Not nodding politely. Not placating. Definitely not playing devil’s advocate.
She wants you to feel her. She doesn’t want absent-minded groping or quick release sex. She wants to feel your passion. Can you feel your passion? Can you show her? Not just your passion for her or for sex; your passion for being alive. Do you have it? It’s the most attractive thing you possess. If you’ve lost it, why? Where did it go? Find out. Find it. If you never discovered it you are living on borrowed time.”