Sunday, March 22, 2015

"But Mom, I get an allowance too"

A few weeks ago we had a bit of an unplanned family reunion of sorts. My daughter and I stopped in to visit my parents and other children decided to come over as well. We were sitting around the dining room table talking when  the subject of finances came up. Mom knows how to stretch a dollar. She is great at handling expenses and although we as a family lived simply on dad's income we never lacked in anything. One of my children mentioned that he and his wife have separate checking accounts. That comment shocks my mother. "Why would you do that? You're married! I don't understand why you would want to do!"

After getting over that unsettling information she told us about a time when her sister was younger and her husband gave her a weekly allowance. She couldn't believe that her sister had to live this way. Mom mentioned ways her sister got around the allowance limitations by borrowing money from others when she needed or wanted to purchased items that exceeded her imposed budget limits.

Later that afternoon mom, my daughter and I were talking again. I told her how different my marriage with Katie is when compared to my previous one. Her curiosity was piqued and she asked me to explain. I talked about how I attempted to keep our home together by controlling everything and everyone and I could see my daughter nodding in agreement. I mentioned how I gave up control when I married Katie and now let her be in charge of us.

I talked. Mom listened. Then I mentioned, "Katie gives me an allowance."
Mom responded, Telling me Katie was simply running the finances and budgeting money to me just as she would budget funds to other areas of our life. I agreed but made the comment that I check in with Katie before making purchases that will exceed my allowance.

I wanted her to draw the parallel between my situation and her sisters. However, I don't think mom equated my having an allowance in the same way as her sister having an allowance years ago. I don't think she heard me with the same part of her brain that has already pegged her sister's husband as being controlling. She views Katie's running of our finances as nothing more than her responsibly managing our home.

But she does know now that my earnings are deposited directly into katie's checking account, that Katie takes care of our finances, that I have an allowance, and I ask permission before spending anything that would exceed my limited funds. This of course was old news for my daughter who sat listening. Mail my mother has new information to chew on at some later point in time.

Like Katie my mother runs the budget in my parents home. My dad admits that if she were to die first he would be bankrupt within a month since he has no idea how she controls their budget or where the money goes on a weekly/monthly basis. My mother adamantly agrees!

I have found the last month interesting with respect to the conversations I've had with my children and my parents. We've touched on topics in which I can't help but convey the femdom perspective of our relationship. There is nothing wrong with how Katie and I live. Because I see us living so beautifully as a team I have no trouble sharing my lifestyle with those closest to me. They can agree or disagree and with our lifestyle but regardless of what they do with the information they cannot deny that Katie and I are in love and enjoy one another immensely. My parents see how happy we both are. My children see the same thing. My children can also see the difference in their dad and how happy he is now. They are intelligent young adults. Although they may not be ready to change things in their own home they definitely have something to think about with respect to how their dad lives with his new wife.

I'm Hers

12 comments:

  1. I see the difference between you and your mom's sister not in giving consent, which you probably both did, but in society's expectation that she should give consent to him managing the finances but that you were free to choose to let your wife do that.

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    1. Roberto, thank you for taking the time to share a thought. I always appreciate people adding to the discussion. The point that I was trying to get across to my mom was that like her aunt, I too have limits that I need to abide by. I don't think she felt that the two of us-me and her sister-were similar but I think we are. We both were subjected to financial constraints. My intention in drawling that parallel was to help my mother see a little more just how much influence Katie has on me.

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  2. I think it is a positive that you are sharing your lifestyle with your family.

    FD

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    1. FD, Thank you for your encouragement. I think it might be more accurate to say that I am sharing some things with my family. I don't want to share everything but I do want others to know that my wife is the one in charge

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  3. It was courageous of you to share what you did, but I suspect that if you'd gone into your sexual relationship with Katie, things would have come out a bit differently. It's a shame that it has to be this way, but I suspect you were wise not to get into that particular aspect of your lifestyle.

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    1. Lady Grey, thanks for stopping by! I do need to quibble with you here… I don't talk about sex with my mom :-). I can't even imagine going there with her or my dad. I remember mom saying things like "oh, so let's talk about school!" In a loud voice when the old Playtex cross your heart bra commercials came on back in the 60s. Anything that had to do with sex or women's underwear or monthly cycles was too much for mom to deal with when us kids were in the same room watching the TV commercials. I can't even imagine what she would think if I told her about me being locked in chastity and Katie having sex on her terms.… Not that she might be jealous in someway but it's a conversation that will never take place-ever.
      Would your husband talk to his mom about how you two live!

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  4. My Bride of 30 years and I recently started down the FLR road. As we are much like you describe yourself (conservative, Christian, 50-ish, etc.), I thank you for sharing on this blog. Bride and I have had many discussions about FLR and have come to the conclusion that it is not a new phenomenon, but was practiced extensively by our grandparents' generation. Bride was raised by her "Granny", who was quite dominant in her marriages. Likewise, of my two sets of grandparents, the one with the dominant wife lasted, the other ended in divorce.

    Bride is "spreading her wings" while I am most content to assume a supporting role in our marriage. Bride now has a better understanding of herself and her self-confidence is growing daily. I never cease to be amazed at the wonderful example of feminine beauty that I get to live with. I believe we are getting a lease on the next 30 years!

    J's Toy

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    1. J's toy, I love when I get emails or comments like you just sent. When I read them I think "here's one more couple that has finally understood the value of this way of living". Thanks so much for your comment and for the complementary words about the blog. I hope that you will let your opinions be made known if posts interest you and that you might develop some on line friendships with fellow submissive's that often comment here. Welcome!

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  5. I don't talk about sex with my mom :-). I can't even imagine going there with her or my dad. I can't even imagine what she would think if I told her about me being locked in chastity...

    Hi I'm Hers
    I have not posted in some time but I have checked in now and then. This comment really hit how I feel about the subject. My parents are both gone now, but I could not even imagine discussing these aspects of our relationship either. First, they are probably too personal (at least for people in their generation). Second, they would generally never understand. Perhaps some people in that age group could accept, or might try to understand, some of it, but the physical aspects might be too far out. Even though some close friends know I do what my wife says, I can imagine that trying to just explain having to wear a chastity device could make even them distant. FL

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    1. FL, I couldn't agree with you more. If anyone knew about me being locked in chastity, it would be so far out of their scope of reality that I doubt they'd know what to say or how to react or how to cope. Most likely they'd just shake their head and tell me how weird I was. Now to the bigger issue.... you need to stop by more often! :) Enjoy your time with Mistress.

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  6. Interesting. Although my wife does control the finances. She often says that she does not want to and that she wants me to do it.

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    1. Why don't you take care of the finances for her and just have her approve the expenses that you want to make? You could still do the legwork and she could still maintain control rather than she having to do something she really doesn't want to do.

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