I segued our discussion to note how Katie and I relate. My daughter has been watching us for the past several days while visiting and she knows even more because of past conversations I've we've had. This week however, she has gotten a chance to view how we relate firsthand. She's watched me work in the kitchen. She's observed that Katie doesn’t do dishes, clean the kitchen or do meal prep. She's watched me empty the dishwasher after hearing Katie inform me that it is clean. She's heard me ask Katie permission more than once. On our way home from work I asked if she'd like to go to a nice restaurant to eat. When she said she did I told her I needed to text Katie to get approval/permission.
I mention these instances to highlight how she's had a chance to see what a relationship looks like when the woman is in charge and her daddy is not. While we drove I revealed more about Katie and I; how Katie takes care of our finances and how I ask permission before making purchases or doing things. I told her how she expects me to call just before I arrive at work and send a text when I leave at the end of the day. I told her that I don't spend money normally and when I do I call to get permission before purchasing anything. I gave her several examples of how life between the two of us plays out.
She remembers me primarily as the dad who is married to her mom. She knows of some of our issues and she knows that I was a bit of a control freak because I did not trust her mom in certain ways. I told her about a conversation that Katie and I had before we married and how Katie insisted it would be best if I didn’t have that same kind of control in our marriage. I went on to tell my daughter how much I have been at peace with myself because of the limits Katie has placed on me.
My daughter can see the difference in me. She can see that I am a happier man, a happier dad. I am sure she can see the difference when comparing the old me to the new. Never in our conversation did I mention I was Katie’s submissive or suggest I was the lesser in our relationship. I didn't talk about femdom or make things kinky. Rather I tried to help her understand that living with Katie in charge has made me a happy, content man who loves his new wife with all of his being.
It's nice to have the cat out of the bag, at least somewhat. My daughter knows a little bit more. She understands the why behind some of my actions. I think she sees the value of our power exchange and how it has created a marriage in which her daddy feels loved and secure.
I don't know that I will tell her more in the future. At this point I think it's best to leave it up to her to bring things up to discuss. She knows enough. She knows that her daddy is a happier man. She knows that he doesn't have the control he had before. She knows that Katie is in charge and daddy asks permission and takes care of his new bride. She knows enough to get her thinking about how she might structure the next relationship she enters when the next boy comes along. At least, I hope she does.