Yesterday I went to use the bathroom. As I looked at the toilet I had a choice: stand or sit? I know what Katie wants me to do but when the door is shut, it's still a choice. The choice today was so easy I gave it almost no thought. I gladly sat. I sat because I wanted to obey; I wanted her to be pleased with my choice - even if she would never now. As I sat I thought how easy it is to live as her submissive when she does her part by actively being my dominant. Maybe I've never thought of this before but the two roles really do go hand-in-hand.
A few months ago I wrote a series of posts, one of which I believe I titled "I'm just not feeling it". In that post I expressed the discontent I felt because Katie was not taking ownership of me the way I thought she should (and promised, when we exchanged our marriage vows). Just last week I remember reading a comment Cathy made. She said a femdom marriage takes upkeep; that it's not like a car that you can start and just let run on its own. Rhiannon made similar comments in her latest post where she emphasized the need to being consistent. For a WLM to work it needs active input from both parties. How true are the words from both of these women. I need to serve, to do the chores she has seemed mine. I need to wait on her and be there, anticipating her needs and desires constantly, but she needs to take charge, lead, and be the alpha female for this marriage to remain healthy.
My hope is that during the summer months I will continue to be actively submissive and she overtly dominant as we love one another. I know we have moved quite a way from the traditional 50/50 relationship we first envisioned when we first fell in love. Way back then all we wanted was a normal healthy relationship - the kind our parents have. So much as happened since then. Now we still want to have a happy and healthy relationship but one in which Katie leads and I follow, where Katie controls and I obey and one where we communicate so intimately that we both never want to return to that 'old' way. I do want to live as her knight and she as my Queen and like any medieval relationship, both the queen and knight have responsibilities. I hope can remain similarly active and attentive to our respectful roles and duties.