Thursday, June 11, 2015
I’ve got to stop assuming
Can you guys relate to me here? I have the best of intentions but find they are not Katie's intentions. For example, the other day she had me get a credit card out of her purse while we were driving. I saw that her wallet was a mess (that was my perception) and so I said, "Katie, I'm going to organize your wallet for you."
"No you're not. Not now."
"Oh," I said surprised.
The other day we were out shopping and Katie put her purse in the trunk so she didn't have to carry it. Our routine when we are out is for her to drive and when she finally parks the car, she gives me the keys to keep hold of. When we return to the car, I open her door, she gets in and when she's ready I hand her the car keys. So..... when we walked back to our car after shopping (me, with keys in hand) I said, "I’m going to pop the trunk."
"So I can get your purse for you."
"No. Leave it there. I don't want it yet."
Although I can't remember the other examples this pattern has repeated itself several other times in the past week. I'd assume she wanted something and rather than waiting for her to tell me I make the assumption and end up making the wrong one. I remember as a kid hearing that when you ASSUME you make an ASS out of U and ME. How true the saying is.
I need to learn to keep my trap shut. I need to be more patient. I need to not force Katie to adopt my standards. As in the case of her wallet being disorganized I made the wrong assumption. She knows exactly where things are both in her wallet and in her purse. Me, when I go in there it’s like exploring an unknown cavern. What I need to do it to better learn her ways or not be so eager to please. Or…. Maybe I should ask rather than assume.
It's tough for me to not 'top' but, then again, I'm not trying to top. I'm trying to anticipate. I want to do what is best for her but my recent guesses aren't panning out so well.