Friday, September 18, 2015

Financial Decisions

Last week a strong storm moved through our neighborhood. Neither of us were home at the time. I was a 100 miles away; Katie about five. When she drove up the drive she was greeted by the sight of a 60' maple laying on our house. The tree had uprooted and fallen, eventually ending up on the porch roof. I got a frantic phone call as soon as Katie saw the tree.

"Did you get my text? Did you see the picture I sent?" She said almost hysterically.

I could tell she was frazzled. Asking what was wrong she clued me in. She was OK, none of the windows broken, the main house roof was intact although the tree lying where it was presented an obvious problem. It was a big tree.

And..... it happened at 4:45 on the Friday of Labor Day weekend. No one was working. Even our insurance guy was away.  As things turned out we were able to get someone to get the tree off the house and harmlessly onto the front lawn. You have to love what a Bobcat can do in a matter of minutes.

Now we are in the midst of fixing the problem which means lots of phone calls. Having roof damage when we already have 25 year old shingles led Katie to consider whether we should reshingle the entire roof. The choice to do so comes with an additional (and unplanned) expense. And then there were gutters to consider. Because several were damaged she thought of upgrading them as well to some form of  'gutter guard/helmet' since we rely on someone to clean them annually. We are getting older and I understand her plan is to make things easier for us as we age. And then I've been forbidden to go on the upper roof - which makes me cleaning gutters out of the question (probably a good idea). 

Hopefully this will be the last roof we ever purchase.  Lots of questions. Lots to consider. Lots to decide. And so it all began. The insurance adjuster came. A roofer came. Another is coming, and after him, probably two more. A gutter/fascia guy or three will be stopping by as well.  And then we will discuss and finally Katie will decide.

I  made it known the least expensive and least stressful route is to spend the insurance money and replace what was damaged and leave the bigger project of a new roof for a later time.  I'm pretty sure that option has been vetoed. I've suggested and let my opinion be known. I won't push that further unless she reconsiders.

She's had me call to schedule roofers and gutter-guys (is that what they're called?) to get estimates.  In the end the choice will be hers but it will be  hers after we both have exchanged thoughts, ideas and tossed around different possibilities.

I wanted to write about this particular incident because it falls into a different category than our other purchases. Usually we don't work together. Usually she buys items as she sees fit. But this is a big deal and one outside her comfort level. If the quality of the materials are topnotch and the color fits what she likes, that's good for her. Words like eves, rafters, fascia, etc are meaningless to her and for that reason she wants my input.  

What to do with the roof is different than the typical. For example, she received a call from her daughter yesterday. 

"Mom, I just found dehumidifiers on sale for 70% off!" 

We don't need a dehumidifier although we use one in our basement. Last night however we purchased one - for $50 rather than $180.  Her rationale was that we'd have a new one should the old one go and not have to pay full price. Smart girl!

That's the expected. She sees, she decides, she lets me know afterward. On the bigger things in life - like our roof - or when the transmission of her vehicle decided to die - we talk and then she decides - and sometimes she'll lean heavily on my thoughts. I don't ever feel like she's giving up control but rather we both know who is the boss. She uses my thoughts to help her make the best possible decision.

I don't know how you all work through your purchases. I'm sure all homes do it slightly different. I wanted to share, at least in a small way, how she handles ours.

I'm Hers 

Addendum: Katie has since vetoed the thought of replacing gutters with some type of gutter covering. Feedback from a few (of you) that I contacted factored into that decision along with the opinion of a roofer that counseled us to keep what we have and replace only the gutters the tree damaged.


  1. My wife also makes the financial decisions as well.She will ask my advice on major decisions but her word will be final. This has worked well with us as she has made our retirement in reach within the next few years.We don't make any secret about our WLR .She has a good business mind and sometimes family members will ask for her advice. It's nice to see that you and Katie have this working for you as well. As always glad you share with us. Thanks. R R

    1. RR, Ahh, retirement..... one of those words I often dream of. It's coming. Maybe in five years, possibly four. Like your wife, Katie has a good grasp on those matters and has things planned out pretty well.

      You know, the purpose of me writing such an ordinary post in which you talk as friends to come to a mutual decision was really to help dispel rumors that all submissive husbands are worthless and all dominant wives as whip carrying bitches caring little what their spouse has to say.

      I know that's what the web portrays but it isn't what works in real life - at least not in the long term. You and I both have found paradise and it looks quite normal to those on the outside looking in. And in many ways it is. It's also significantly different and it is in those differences where the joy of being with our spouse is found. Thanks for writing RR! Always love to hear from you.