Thursday, September 24, 2015

Kiss my nose

Katie asked me in the morning if I had been dreaming of snakes last night. I asked if I had been shaking or moving in my sleep and she informed me that I had.  Every so often I dream of being in water with big black thick water snakes. They never get me but they're definitely creepy. Thus the question.

"No," I answered, "it was probably me dreaming of the orgasm I never got when we make love earlier."

She laughed.

Indeed, we had made love last night, just before falling asleep and of course she experienced those tremors a few times while I served as the source of her pleasure.  We both enjoyed ourselves fully - just in different ways and I hope we do so again tonight, and tomorrow and the next night :)

On my drive to work - it's a significant drive - I sent her a text. To understand the double meaning of the text you need to understand that a few nights ago one of Katie's 'friends' on a social media site posted the following cartoon. It was one that kind of pushed the boundaries of what should be on such a social media site but this woman chose to do so.

When she showed me the cartoon it tickled my funny bone. It tickled it a lot. I couldn't stop laughing and later kept snickering everytime I thought of the stupid catch phrase meshed with the inverted man.

On my way to work, I thought of the inverted man and smiled again. A thought came to mind and I sent her a text:
"I liked the way you played with my "nose" last night. Feel free to do so again tonight if you'd like."

I got one of those smiley face emoticons blowing me a heart shaped kiss in reply.

At the next traffic light some minutes later I wrote again. "Given that it's allergy season I was surprised my nose didn't start running last night."

She responded, "LOL."

I responded again, "I think my nose is on some kind of prolonged decongestant. It hasn't run in a long time. I don't think allergy season, or even for that matter, the common cold, will get it to run."

Her response" "Sinus blockage."

Some minutes later I texted I'd be arriving at my destination in a few minutes.  She called, as I was pretty sure she would.  At some point during our conversation I asked, "Do you think that congestion is anything to worry about? I mean, it really has been going on for quite some time."

I think she could hear the smile in my voice. "Naw," she said. Suppressing a similar smile, "I think you'll be just fine."

And so our conversation ended.

Amidst the humor of our exchange there is a serious unspoken undertone that we share.  My 'nose' hasn't run since early February - a little over seven months - and apparently won't be running any time soon.  The app on my phone puts the time in the 220 day range.  That length is the longest I've gone and most likely it will be for a significant period longer before the 'allergies' overwhelm the effects of the decongestant if you know what I mean.

Katie prefers the 'chaste' me. She likes my attention. She likes sex being about her. She likes my mood, my attentiveness, my desire to please, want, crave, lust, etc..... all those yummy feelings I love feeling toward her as well. She likes me like this because she knows I like me like this. We make love. We have a healthy sex life. She enjoys my body and I hers. We share intimacy as a married couple should. Not only so but I am able (don't ask me how) to satisfy her for as long as she wants - most of the time. There are times when I send out a warning, "I'm getting close" but for the majority of our interludes that hasn't been a problem. But beyond the 'chaste me' and the 'horny her', there is a casual bonding to our sex life that keeps the dialog of this part of our marriage open both mentally and verbally. 

There is the daily, "do you want me to lock" question each morning as well as the, "is it ok to unlock, Mistress?" question each night at bedtime.  There is the visual, I see him locking each morning and I hear him ask to unlock, and watch him do so every night. There is the "ahhhh" sound of pleasure I utter most nights when the cage comes off. I don't know why but it feels good to get out of the cramped quarters and express that emotional release, if you will. There is the grab of my crotch if she hasn't watched me lock when I come down stairs to check on me. There is me embracing her from behind and kissing her neck and feeling her press her rump into the steel on my front. It's playful. It shows her acceptance of my chastity. It's fun. There's lots of that kind of stuff.

But there is the other part as well. There's the knowledge that we can laugh about having one's 'nose' kissed when we see a silly adult cartoon. There are the texts we can send that hint of what was, what is, and what might be. On the surface, all that is fun. It surely makes me smile and I hope my silly texts bring a grin to her as well - that's why I send them.  On a deeper level, that kind of interaction speaks to our openness of our sex life. We can share. We can talk about sex. We can talk about our bodies in a healthy way. "I love those girls" is a common phrase I often share - a compliment, if you will. The girls of course belong to her and indeed they are beautiful - stunningly beautiful - but I surely do love them and Katie lets me hug them most any time. I think she loves the attention and affection, even if I'm a little gropey at times. 

But deeper still is the understanding of our relationship. She's my Mistress and I her sub. All those silly, casual, romantic 'things' (I hate that word) we do continually reinforce our wife led marriage understanding. She is in charge. She controls the bedroom. She decides if I'll be free for the night, or for a weekend day or not; not me. She checks to see if I'm locked. I don't grope her. She determines how long my time in denial will last and I honor her authority by letting her know, "I'm getting close" or by refusing to self pleasure during those times I am free for the day. And through it all - all of those things, all of those feelings, all of those rituals, all of those spontaneous actions - reinforce the bigger picture - of her being in charge.

Because our femdom relationship has a definite sexual component, that component has permitted the two of us to share about our sexual feelings more openly (a lot more openly) than if there was no such component. Now as the male, who can't hardly get those kinds of thoughts out of my generally pure and upstanding mind, I tend to be the one that verbalizes such thoughts first, but I have a pretty good hunch she has similar ones. She's just too lady like to speak her mind. Rather, she'll give me the,"mmmmm" expressed in that husky way that oozes with "I want you" every now and then. It's unmistakable and I love it. That husky, guttural, "mmmmm" does two things. First it lets me know she wants me, even if it's during a phone conversation or while we are walking hand in hand in the mall. Second, it makes me think of her even more - for a long time. I think of how fun she is; how beautiful she is; how lucky I am; and a whole lot of other, not so PG-13 thoughts. 

So to all of you guys that have sex, ejaculate, roll over and fall asleep before she gets back from the bathroom, you have no idea just how much you are missing. Sure, firing your pistol is better than no sex at all but you can't imagine how much better life could be. It's almost like going buck hunting, seeing a 12 point, sighting it and then pulling it down because he vanished before you could site the bead on its chest. The story will last a lifetime even though you never fired.  And like an old doctor friend of mine once told me, "If all you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail."  Boys, you need to be willing to put some more tools into your toolbag and expand your world beyond the immediate - ready, aim, fire, fall asleep. 

And to the ladies, a premise I've always believed to be true: " 'No' always wins." That's another way to say, it takes two to tango and since he wants you, you can dictate how that plays out because you're the one, not him that is more willing than not to say, 'no, I'm too tired. Maybe another night." I dare say you could tell him just how you'd like it and in doing so discover an entirely different (and maybe better) side to the man you hold so dear. Or you could come back from the bathroom to a sound-asleep husband. The choice is yours. If you deny him, you won't have to get out of the warm bed to use the bathroom, and you will have a husband willing to cuddle and snuggle you and feel his pistol with the safety off all night long. What sounds better to you?

I'm Hers


  1. Holy smokes my friend, that was epic. There were so many finely crafted words and I was cheering almost out loud as I was reading them. You, I and relatively select few other men have the unmitigated joy of knowing exactly what you are talking about when you write the fine collection of words. Without question ... my favorite words in this piece were "She's my Mistress and I her sub."

    1. I agree with you, ship, those were classic words. This is a well written post.
      The following struck directly for me: "She likes me like this because she knows I like me like this. We make love. We have a healthy sex life. She enjoys my body and I hers. We share intimacy as a married couple should."
      We are into year three now of wlm and have traveled the same path of doubts and apprehenson that many of you have. It is hard to express the joy of being beyond those awkward beginnings now, going from a marriage where she had little use or interest in doing any thing together to where we can laugh at shared humour, as you did with your 'nose' comic. We ARE somewhere now. I believe the fact that she knows you are truly happy with where you are at is such a comfort. This closeness is healthy and hey, who doesn't like healthy? JT

    2. JT, Thanks for the kind words and observations. Couples like us (me, you, SHIP and similar) have indeed found something special. Mostly we have found a deep love for our wives and in the end, that is what it's all about. Thanks for sharing.

    3. SHIP, as always, I appreciate your words of encouragement and upbeat remarks. Stay well, stay positive - even with the demise of your NFL team (we can commiserate together - mine is just as pathetic) :)

  2. IH,
    Another good post. You hit so close to home that sometimes I think you are spying on us. LOL
    It is good to hear that you have learned to "satisfy her for as long as she wants". My learning to do that has resulted in a marvelous thing for us. Afterward she is so sated that she is now the one that rolls over and goes to sleep. Talk about a role reversal! LOL I am left to spoon against her. I love it!
    Perhaps other men will take your excellent advise and put some new tools (ones that work better) in their toolbox and maybe the ladies will take a little more control in what they want. You covered it well. The better life is waiting on them.

    1. DLsKnight, Maybe you and I should host a class on stamina - we'd make a mint!!!! Problem is, I don't know how to teach it other than advise - it's not a race, it's an event. Take your time and enjoy. I also think it has something to do with aging. I've always heard older men make for better lovers. Maybe this is why - it's God's gift to us after he's taken away about every other asset we had when we were 25 LOL. God does have a humor sometimes. But I'm thankful for this gift even if it only comes with time.
      thanks for sharing!

  3. I wonder if younger men can appreciate what you have beautifully portrayed. The ability to take ones self less seriously is one of the gifts my Mistress wife has given me but i doubt i could have when i was younger. The laughter at our quirks and outrageous deviantly absurd behaviour is priceless.
    We know its not deviant. Its intimate. Your words led me to ponder on another aspect ive noticed in my submission. The absence of jealosy or insecurity when other men look at or flirt with my Mistress. Im just proud of her and glad she can feel desired. Its wonderful. What a release from all that angst and its because she owns me loves me and expects nothing less. When i havent been allowed to orgasm you would think i would be jealous but its the opposite. Nout so queer as folks lol. I hope you guys are proud of the USA team at the Rugby World Champs. They are great to watch

    1. 2780flr, Thanks so much for sharing. I can tell you are writing with a happy heart - its reflected in your writing. Isn't laughing with one's lover, best friend and wife the best?!!! I can't identify with others drooling over my wife tho. I think I'd still have a bit of jealousy. Now if it's just them looking while she walks by, thats one thing but if we were at a social and some guy started hitting on her, I think I'd have to step in and say something - tactfully of course - but something to let him know he's being a bit too forward.

  4. I make sure the man knows i am there and prepare to support my Mistress but usually she brushes them aside brilliantly because she has learned how to manage men well since she becsme Mistress i feel sorry for them. Shes not beyond reminding me that i have no say but its meant in a teasing way thank goodness. Im still getting used to not orgasming but have to admit im so much better that way. Its amazing but i cant get past 3 weeks before my Mistress decides i need relief. I always feel flat after though. Thanks IH for helping us through this two years in uncertsinty. You are both international treasures and i hear rumours of a Nobel Peace prize in the offing. To Katie of course Dummy !

  5. Needing a fan over here :)

  6. Wow, what a beautiful article, IH.

    You painted a picture of what an intimate marriage can be like when a couple knows that they have an unbreakable committed relationship. You and Katie have developed intimacy and appreciation for each other that few couples achieve. My wife and I are getting closer to that as our own FLR develops; I worry less about how I get treated and focus more completely on her desires.

    Your detailed and loving description of what you and Katie have is a nice testament to her loving leadership and acceptance of your submission. And most importantly, her strength and wisdom to do it her way, not yours. That's a great lesson for us submissives to focus on the right goal.

    Those early fantasies I had of physical and verbal domination have morphed into me being totally in tune to what the Queen desires. It's no longer her pleasure before mine; it's her pleasure, period, that I take delight in. I certainly wanted all the fun D/s stuff, and what Donna and I have now isn't what I pictured. I had no idea that my urge to have a Domme for a wife would lead me to develop such a passionate love and appreciation for her. Donna sees that in me, and now can appreciate me for my strengths and laugh at me for my weaknesses. There's a lot to laugh about there.

    So, thanks for capturing what a beautiful marriage can look like, I'm Hers. The goofy relationship that you and Katie have let's short-sighted people like me know that I am indeed on the right track. I also appreciate what the other commenters are saying on here.

    Your friend,