It is my opinion – and only that – that chastity should be used to reach a desired outcome without it negatively affecting the couple’s intimacy and trust. I am not saying that what Hannah Jay is doing is wrong. That is not the intent of this post. Rather her thoughts got me thinking about how much is enough, and ... if some is good then will more be better? Having not been in 24/7 lockdown for months at a time I can only speculate. I do know that some men have made comments indicating that is indeed what happens to them. There is a blog out there somewhere in which a British woman writes.... chastity blog... or something to that nature. She keeps her husband in total lockdown for a year and only then gives him time out of the cage for a few weeks before he's back in. She loves what it does to him.
My concern has to do more with what is being implied by the continuous lockdown. Does that mean Mistress doesn’t want him inside anymore? Does that mean traditional intercourse is no longer her priority or desire? Does it mean 'that' part of their relationship has come and gone and will be no more? If Katie said ‘yes’ to any of the above it would deeply sadden me as it would mark an end to a very special part of who we are as a couple. I love making love with her. I love both how I feel and how I make her feel. It's a very special time for me to give of myself to her.
I know chastity works and does so in multiple ways. It serves as a concrete reminder of who the man is toward his mistress. It serves as the ultimate deterrent to self pleasuring. It acts to not only remove temptation but also channel a man's energy and refocus that energy on its desired purpose - his mistress. Now, as to how that all works seems pretty straightforward to me. Chastity is a means of forced denial and denial is known to raise certain hormone levels which have a nurturing, cultivating effect on the male mind. However what I’ve seen in my own life is this: when it stays on too long and never comes off – or, for that matter if the appliance comes off and there’s still no desire on her part for some hanky-panky, there is a sense of loss - despite whatever hormonal changes are in effect. It’s as if I begin feeling ‘why am I doing this?’ 'doesn't she want me?' 'Why doesn't she want to make love?' ‘I thought you loved me?’ I associate Katie's desire for physical intimacy as one of the strongest indicators of her love for me. It's not the only but it's a part of what I believe is the complete package when it comes to expressing one's love.
On the flip side Katie is often overly lenient with me when it comes to keeping me in the cage. I’m now back in it now after having been out for the past two weeks. I’ve taken a vacation and because I’m home she’s not opted to have me wear the device. Is that good or bad? I don’t know that it much matters what I think. I just do what I’m told but, as I said earlier, being in the cage changes a man and I know I often wished she’d tell me to lock up at some point during that vacation period. Why? Because that serves an vivid expression of her dominance. It would be akin to her making me stay locked at night - something she hasn't made me do in months. I lock in the morning and unlock at bedtime. But what if I asked her tonight if I could unlock and she said no? That's power. That's being a mistress. And its fun - until the 5 AM wake up call from inside the cage.
So the question for me is: what does the mistress want to get out of locking him up? If she wants to curb masturbation then he should be locked 24/7 or at least whenever he is out of her sight; even if just for a few minutes. The temptation can be that great with some men. Give him time alone and he can undo all she wants to change.
If the goal is to remove the constant desire for sex from his mind, well good luck with that. Just because he can’t doesn’t mean the mind will necessarily follow. I believe for several weeks the opposite will take place and if there is still no chance of freedom and the mistress remains strong in keeping him lock then I do believe the desire to have sex will diminish. In this case the mistress has broken the 'sexual spirit' of her sub. She's outlasted his will by denying him or keeping the key out of sight. My concern should that bridge be crossed is, will there be repercussions to being told ‘no’ by the fact that the key isn’t going to show up any time soon?
Maybe not assuming a continual lockdown is accompanied by being required to service her needs orally rather than by use of his little soldier. I can't answer that question. I’ve never been there but I welcome the thoughts of others. I know some readers are never locked but live on an honor system. I commend you for your strength. I know I am not that strong. For you, the question may not be ‘can chastity be overdone’ but rather can one go without intercourse and still remain intimately bonded?