Saturday, March 11, 2017

Real Men Provide. Real Women Appreciate It

While watching the evening news a few weeks ago, they ended the broadcast with one of those human interest stories that often are a part of the nightly news. This one caught my interest. It had to do with a billboard mounted along a NC highway. After the newscast and I did some investigation . Typing in a few key words on a Google search I found several articles.  Here are a few excerpts from one of them:

A woman activist commented, "I take it as a very deliberate jab at women who demand equality and demand to be seen as equals and are vocal. So to me it's also a very blatant about wanting to silence women and tell them to just accept the way that things are."
She went on to say her concern isn't that the sign exists, but the message behind the sign, and believes the sign represents a mindset that should not be acceptable in today's society.
"We are protesting patriarchy and sexism, and that this antiquated way of thinking about women exists at all. We are protesting the implied demand that women be silent and appreciate, regardless of whatever circumstances, their role as non-providers.
I almost couldn't identify with what she had to say. My first thought was I would think women would appreciate men who have a job and earn a living (not that women don't also). I would think they would appreciate men who look for employment and want to work rather than sit at home and collect a government paycheck when they are able-bodied. Who in the world wants to be associated with a guy (or woman) with that attitude?

I began thinking about how much the 'lens of life' from which we look through determines our viewpoint. This woman viewed the sign from a feminist lens (and it's my opinion who wants no part of men helping her). She obviously took offense because she is against the very thought that a woman would even consider letting a man provide for her. My guess is she thought something to the effect of, "How dare they insult women. We can provide just fine for ourselves. And for God's sake, the last thing we need is a man to it for us."
For other women, the ones who prefer to be home, the ones who find value in raising a family (or the ones who just don't have any interest in working a conventional job), I would think they would have no issues with the wording on that bill board. I'm sure they appreciate the the income their husbands provide through their employment.
As a submissive man, I view those words similarly. The word 'provide', however, means much more to me than mere financial provision. Providing includes work around the home, providing comforts in the way of meals, massages, giving her my undivided attention when she wants it, and generally making sure she feels secure, appreciated and loved.
I have the mindset that all men should 'provide'. Providing doesn't negate a woman working a job if that's what she wants. Just because her 'man' works, it doesn't mean she has less significance or has less value. It doesn't imply any of that. 
Why does it have to be an either/or scenario? Can't there be both? Can't a woman be catered to by her man, 'provided for', if you will, and she still be able to have the same freedoms to satisfy whatever goals in life she might have? 
As Katie's submissive I hope I am that kind of husband. She happens to want me to provide (financially) but she also wants me to give her my time (by doing chores and meeting whatever expectations she has for me - cooking, cleaning, etc). She wants me to provide by showing her love and being affectionate, by reminding her how much I appreciate and admire her. She wants me to provide by satisfying her sexually, by snuggling with her at night and when we wake in the morning, by doing small acts of service throughout the day (like rubbing her back or getting her a glass of wine or opening a car door or reminding her of an appointment).
Providing can take on many forms and by me providing, our marriage is validated and strengthened. Eventually I will retire. Eventually the woman upset at this sign will retire. What happens then? Will she refuse the free gift offered to her in the form of social security? Did she live her life refusing the benefits her employer offered her in the forms of vacation time, medical and dental insurance, retirement payments and the like? I doubt it. Is her value completely dependent on her ability to 'provide' for herself? I don't think so and I sure hope it isn't.  
The old Simon and Garfunkel words, I am a rock, I am an island, is far from true. No one is a rock. No one is an island. No one lives without needs. Everyone has insecurities. No one is able to live life without others providing for them. We need others. We should welcome it when it's offered. I know for the two of us, I need my mistress and my mistress needs her sub. I provide for her with my efforts and she provides for me with her leadership and for that I am so thankful.
I'm Hers


  1. Long time reader and admirer, first time commenter! Just wanted to point out that social security is an earned benefit that you and your employer pay into, and the vacation and health insurance are part of compensation, so your analogy does not really work. More importantly, I'm glad Katie is providing you with the discipline and attention you crave. I meant to post earlier that she sounds like a remarkable woman, but doubt her gifts include mind reading, so I'm delighted you asked a bit for what you want and need. Speaking as someone who 30+ years into a relationship (that has always been collared, but is now occasionally caged as well), if one is fortunate to be with someone who appreciates a sub, one should be able to ask (though sometimes it requires plucking up one's courage at times).
    Thanks for sharing your views and life with the blogosphere, I really appreciate it.

    1. Capriol, so glad to have you comment. Thanks for stopping by and sure to hope this won't be the last time. Please speak your mind again. Everyone benefits when you do.

      I was hesitant to add the paragraph on the SS but my point had to do with the able-bodied males that make a choice to not work. I understand we are all entitled to that benefit when retired, disabled, or when we lose work. My beef has to do with those that intentionally try to use the system in order to avoid work. If I didn't make that clear, I apologize.

      As to Katie.....she is a remarkable lady and one I deeply love. I'm sure I could say the same about yours. Anyone making it 30+ years has truly found a treasure.
      Again thanks for sharing Capriol

  2. i enjoy your blog and love this point of view.
    well thought out and written. Keep up the good work as a provider and writer
    Thanks for your blog