Thursday, April 13, 2017
You Can Come
I don’t hear those words often but she said them this morning while we were making love. After having two orgasms she told me, “you can come”.
It’s such an odd thing for me to hear. Now don’t get me wrong, I love it when she lets me, but my typical mode is to maintain staying power until she and I are through and she has had enough pleasure for one morning (or evening). My job is to avoid getting the urge of getting too close and thereby ruining her time prematurely. For me personally, if I do get near the edge there is usually no turning back, so I’ve found it best to just not let my body go there.
After we finished today and while we were still embraced, my attention was drawn to a picture on the far wall. I thought back to times past when I had to center my thoughts on that picture with all of my conscious effort in an effort to keep my urges from getting the best of me. Back in the old days I had a difficult time refraining from climaxing. The only way was to either stop or think about something completely different than what we were doing and often times I use that picture as the distraction I needed to keep my body from losing complete control. Most of the time one of those techniques worked, but it there were several occasions when it became impossibly difficult to refrain.
But how things have changed in the years since. Our new routine (with her standing orders to not come) slowly changed my response. The process was a slow one. Having spent my entire adult life with one goal in mind when making love (to ejaculate), it took many times spent in intimacy to change my practiced biological impulse. I had to figure out how to avoid doing the very thing I had done for decades and changing that was not an easy process. I guess you could call what happened an example of behavioral modification.
After becoming her submissive my reward while making love changed and with it so did what I was to expect whenever we had sex. No longer was it about me reaching orgasm but rather about me finding satisfaction through her orgasms and the pleasure she received while we were together. No longer was it about me satisfying me, but rather me being the source of her enjoyment. No longer was it about me being a one-and-done guy. Instead it became me being the source of her three, four, five or six climaxes.
After making love two or three times every week for several months my body’s instincts changed. I realized, almost after the fact, that I could go longer with more stimulation and not lose control. Now I can last a half hour although she doesn't typically spend that much time enjoying me before stopping.
So today, when she told me I could come, my thought was, “well that aint happening any time soon.” I had to change gears, change my focus. No longer was it about how long I could go without coming but about me not taking too long before I did what she wanted.
Our time today was great. There’s nothing better than making love with the love of my life. I have no idea when she’ll let me come again but that doesn’t mean every time between now and then won’t be just as loving, just as exciting, just as erotic and equally satisfying. Sex for me isn’t about seeking that three-second ‘wow’ feeling but about sharing her joy the entire time we are close. Sex has become so nice since seeing it as a change to give rather than get and to be perfectly honest, I love it this way.