Sunday, July 23, 2017

Submissive Desires: a comparative analogy

"I'm a good dog, but if you don't pet me once in a while, it's hard to keep me under the porch" 

Fido lives at 202 Main Street. He’s a dog with a great owner. He gets fed twice a day, always has fresh water and is even taken for walks every weekend.  Living next to him at 204 Main is his friend Duke. Duke is a year older than Fido and has, not one, but two owners. Not only does he get fed twice a day but every evening he gets to enjoy eating wet food. He doesn't have to wait until the weekend to be walked. Each evening he strolls the neighborhood with his owner. They walk until he eventually takes a poop. What's so funny to Duke is that his owner will always pick up his warm poop and put it in a plastic bag and carry it home. Whenever they do, it always makes Duke smile. 

Fido's other neighbor is Lassie who lives at 200 Main. She’s a cute Collie and lives in luxury. Like Duke she has a large fenced in yard. Fido's owners has a large yard too but Fido can only go outside into a small fenced enclosure to do his business. He cant run all the way to the back fence the way Duke and Lassie can. But Fido gets to spend his day inside along with Duke and Lassie.  

Lassie’s owner takes her for walks every day but she also drives her to the dog-park so Lassie can play with all her friends and catch up on the latest. Lassie is the only one on the street to be fed organic food and her coat reflects the high-end diet she gets to enjoy.  Lassie is brushed every night too and even gets to sleep on the same bed as her owner every night.  Life for her is the best.
As a submissive have you ever felt like Fido when you read this blog or other blogs written by dominant women or other submssive men? I know I have. But you know, being Fido isn’t so bad. He has all of his needs met. His owner provides him with food, shelter, companionship, love and even gives him treats every now and again, like the weekend walks every Saturday and Sunday.  But I’m sure Fido is sometimes tempted to think what life might be like if he were to live with Duke or Lassie.  On the other hand, he is reminded of what life is like for his friend Max who lives behind him and is chained up in the back yard and sleeps in a dog house year round. Sometimes he even thinks of his buddy Rex who still lives at the kennel because no one has taken a liking to him and brought him home.

You see, too many of us expect to live the life of Lassie. Lassie represents the submissive who is given those treats your mistress doesn’t give you. It’s the Lassie’s and Dukes of the world that tempt us to want more than what we currently have. What we often forget is life could just as easily be like Max or Rex or any of the other thousands like them. Personally, I know the extent of my happiness with my owner depends in large part, on my level of contentment with the treats and daily life my owner provides for me.

I promised to address a comment posted by sublove some weeks ago. He asked if my mistress was stroking me enough to keep me content. He posed the question because there was a period some months ago when I lived the life of Fido but ached to have all that Lassie got to enjoy.  I fell into the trap of wanting more - of wanting to have what other bloggers sometime got. It caused me to fall into a downward spiral for some weeks as I kept hoping my owner would give me more.  

About the time sublove posted his comment I began to realize (with the help of Lady Grey) I had it pretty good. I am loved, appreciated and cared for. I’m married to the hottest babe around. She’s gorgeous both inside and out.  I live with a woman who knows she is in charge and has specific expectations for me. She promised me on the day we married to be my mistress for the rest of my life. She's playful and fun to be with. We have a great sex life; we are the best of friends, and have many similar interests. I have so much for which to be thankful. When comparing my life to other male friends I quickly understand just how good I have it.
But I don’t’ live the same life as other men I know from reading various blogs. My life is unique. It’s unique because the things that comprise my average day are things designed to please Katie. She’s the one to whom I submitted and she is the one who directs the path of my life.

I have time to think during my day. While driving to and from work, while cooking and doing chores I often spend time in my own world thinking. After sublove wrote and asked if I felt I was being stroked enough, I thought of all the stroking my wife provides. She allows me to serve her around the house all the time; she keeps me chaste whenever we're apart; she denies me for weeks and sometimes months at a time even though we enjoy intimacy quite often; she controls our finances but allots me an allowance; she is the primary decision maker but seeks my opinion more times than not. She views me as her submissive and has no hesitation in having me do something on her behalf. 

But there is a limit to what she will and won’t do as my dominant. She doesn’t spank me even though the thought of her doing so really intrigues me. I think it would bond us but it’s not her cup of tea. She doesn’t make me work 24/7 when I’m home. Yet there are times when I wish she’d push me hard (just because she can) as a way to reinforce our respective positions as a couple. I think if she did it would strengthen our D/s bond. But do I wish for her to be this way all the time? No I don’t. I love her just the way she is. You see, I don’t have it all but then again, maybe not getting everything I want is what is best for me.

I made a choice some months ago that helped get me out of my funk. I decided to just do what I was told. When I did I began to see Katie in a different light. I was also able to see me for who I was - her sub.  I made the decision to enjoy the life I have with her and be thankful for all she gives me as both my wife and my mistress. I made a choice to relish in the fact she sees herself as the dominant partner and knows she has a husband who lives to serve her. I made the choice to be thankful for all the little submissive treats she gives me rather than only hope for ones others get and I don’t.

I have so much for which to be thankful.  Men sometimes write me. There are some who see themselves as submissive but have wives who will not accept their submission. Men have poured out their heart in despair over the plight they find themselves. They wish only to serve and be seen for who they are by the woman they love. Because their wife doesn't they are left feeling empty and lost.

It only takes a moment of thinking on what could be for me to realize all that Katie has blessed me with. She as accepted me for who I am and taken me to be hers. She lovingly dominates me and enjoys having a partner who will do those things she cares not to do. I am a Fido. I’ll never be a Lassie but that doesn’t mean I’m loved life any less. The Fido in me is stroked plenty and feeling quite content these days.

Thanks sublove for giving me such deep things to think about. You helped more than you might know.

I’m Hers


  1. Will you never be Lassie cause of your owners attempt to not put any more effort into your relationship? I don't think you should sell your self short, you shouldn't give up on what you want or believe you deserve if you put the work in you deserve to reap the rewards, it's sounds like there are a lot of things you wish you had and you have given up bigger things like the money which is the biggest thing you could have given up and not even get a little bottom spanking, you can't do the at least your not the pup who lives outside trick you can't compare your self to others misfortune you can only compare your self to your self, if you want to be lassie and you put the work and effort in to being and deserving to be lassie and your not lassie than it falls on to your owner for not making you lassie and you don't need to pretend to be content with that. I say just take back the finances and buy your self the treats you deserve and make your self lassie no one says you can't do that!

    1. Anonymous, Thanks you for sharing. I hear you but I do disagree. At the end, I stated I'm quite content. No, I won't have everything that everyone else has, and when you think about it, where does one draw the line... spankings, sleeping outside in the tool shed, being cuckholded when she takes another man and throws my sexuality in my face? You see, it's possible to venture down a slippery slope and end up going so far that you end up going too far.

      As to the money, I don't want the money. I really don't need it. She provides whatever I need and I am more than content in that regard.

      What struck me as I read are these statements: "you shouldn't give up what YOU WANTor believe what YOU DESERVE...... if you put in the work YOU DESERVE rewards..... just TAKE back the finances.....

      I gave that life up. I don't want that life. I made a decision that being in control, being self-seeking, doing what I want regardless of what others think, feel, or want is a place I don't want to return to.

      So I respectfully disagree. I like being fido. It's really a good state of mind.
      Please share again. Thanks

  2. Well stated. The grass always looks greener in someone elses yard :) ... especially when they are probably writing the high-lite real and improvising a tad. My biggest need for feedback is to know my wife appreciates what I do and enjoys having it done for her.

    1. Thanks WHMC - and I agree. Us writers tend to write in a way that reflects more positively on ourselves/our wives than to write negatively.

  3. I get it the idea of being happy with what you have and before you try to jump from one thing to the other just because you see it or read it and try to get your wife to do it, maybe just spend more time appreciating what you have already worked to achieve. I understand the part of when is enough enough, cause when I read this and blogs like this I always try to think of what the wife is like or what she thinks, cause to be honest I don't know to many woman or wives that would ever think of making there husband were panties and have him wear a maids uniform and serve her and friends dinner or to think maybe my husband would get off at the idea of me sleeping with another man while he watches, or the thought of even pegging there husband, I always wondered at what point would I loose my wife as my wife my partner and are there limits to what is unfair of me to ask of her, just like I wouldn't expect her to stay with me if I told her I wanted a sex change, but I do expect her to beable to change when I don't feel like what she is giving is what I need, just like her telling me she needs more affection more vacations more date nights more laughing touching cuddling, and I want her to never let that part of our relationship slip or become content on the amount that satisfies her just enough to get by, i do appreciate our effort to continue to work and improve, and I need the money cause how else am I to buy her flowers and gifts, take her out make her life easier get her a spa day cause even with equal share of the money she still expects me to get her all that stuff even though she can get it her self hahaha

    1. NavSteward, You pose a lot of questions about the need for money as well as wondering how far your wife should go or if she should agree to do what you ask. They are all situations requiring the two of you to discuss how the two of you (with her deciding of course :) ) will find a solution to each of those issues. If you do that, lots of problems will be solved simply because you talk them out.