"I have no desire to subjugate or humiliate my husband. I do however expect his world to revolve around mine. I am his purpose, nothing less. My happiness is his goal, my satisfaction is his aim. We have gotten to the place that we understand that women were created with the ability to have multiple orgasms. He no longer has orgasms during our times of intimacy. For health reasons, I still allow my husband to discharge, but only in a practical, functional way. He derives his pleasure from giving, and I provide him that opportunity. "
Upon reading that paragraph, one word and one emotion kept resonating in me: 'wow!'
So many blogs discuss dominance and submission from a 'you do this for me and I'll do that for you' mindset. I'm sure the majority of submissive men enter into D/s relationships with the expectation they will be getting something from their dominate partner. Its my opinion that very few men agree to submit unilaterally. My guess is it has much to do with their woman being new to the idea of being dominant. It's difficult to break the stereotypical mold of how grandmom and even Mother viewed and cared for their husbands.
But regardless of how we felt back then (or if you are considering popping the 'I want to submit to you' question to the woman you love), consider the above statement. What can we glean from it?
First, she makes it clear she wants to respect her husband. She has no interest in turning him into anything less of the man whom she fell in love with. Second, and now we get to the nitty-gritty, she makes the direct statement that her marriage is a one way road. She expects him to do what is needed to satisfy her. "I expect his world to revolve around me. I am his purpose, nothing less. My happiness is his goal; my satisfaction is his aim."
Pretty powerful words. Very powerful words. What she never stated was the two-way aspect of their relationship. Now that doesn't mean it isn't there. It doesn't mean she doesn't satisfy his need to feel loved and accepted and appreciated but it sure appears her reciprocation comes secondary to his efforts to satisfy her.
Isn't this an ideal definition of what it means to truly submit? I have been thinking about her comment for weeks now. I found her thought so succinct and well stated. There's no fluff. She goes straight to the heart of what it is she expects from her husband - service. She addresses their sexual relationship but there was really no need. Having a man who is dedicated to put her priorities first at all times includes what goes on in the bedroom, what happens during their Saturday and Sundays together, how they interact when with friends, vacations, menu, house chores, social outings, etc., etc.
Rather than go on and on I'd rather hear your thoughts. How would you feel if your wife made the above statement to you? How would you feel if the one rule your wife gave you on no uncertain terms was "I expect you to put me first and make me your number one priority in everything you do." What if you countered with something to the effect of 'sure I will but....." and she cut you off right there? What if she told you that as her submissive it's not about what I do for you but rather you finding unprecedented joy by serving me?