Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Guest Post: The Need for Adjustments

It's my pleasure to include a post from a dear friend. I contacted Katie Christian asking if she would consider writing periodic posts. She accepted and below are some thoughts she recently penned.  I encourage you to comment to share your impressions, opinions and thoughts. So without further adieu...... 

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On Thursday evening I said to my husband that after working in the garden today a massage would feel wonderful.
That was more an expectation I was sharing, than a request. He immediately responded that he was too tired to give a massage tonight before he wandered off to finish his chores. This did not sit well with me and left me wondering what was going on. 

Friday offered much time of quiet contemplation and I realized that I had been significantly more demanding lately of things I expected him to get done in spite of his work load. Additionally, I had not kept up my end of making the effort or finding the time to do those little things that inspire his attentiveness. 

Like most wives we wish our husbands were more like the little oven sold on late night television, set it and forget it. But it really does not work that way in relationships.

 
The sexy little things I would occasionally wear had been replaced with loose jeans and a baggy t-shirt. I was no longer sliding up to him and "gripping" his manhood while telling him how much I appreciated all he did for me. I too had been too tired many an evening to be pleasured, choosing to settle for a light back rub to put me to sleep. 

He has arrived to the place that he NEEDS to pleasure me or he feels cheated. WE now call MY orgasms OUR orgasms and WE hadn't had any in quite some time. No wonder he was losing his edge.
 
I can't remember the last time I kissed him passionately for a few minutes, rubbing myself on him before sending him to work reminding him that I would be relaxing or doing anything I wanted because he was so good to care for me. I know I have told him that many times before which made it easy to forget how much he likes hearing it. I hadn't sent him any personal pictures, no steamy texts, no teasing notes left where he would find them. When you consider I do almost no housework, am free to spend as I choose, go where and when I want, because he pours himself out to take care of me and to provide me this kind of life, I really have no excuse for not taking the little time and effort it takes to keep him engaged.

But that does not justify him telling me he was too tired to give me a massage. It just does not work that way in our household.

On Saturday morning our routine is for me to sit in a chair in our bedroom as I present the key to remove the cage he has worn all week. I have a warm wash cloth I use to take a few minutes to wash his manhood and inspect it for any chafing or damage before sending him on his way allowing him swing free for the weekend. Since we will be together the entire time it is safe to do so. But this Saturday was different. Adjustments had to be made. My cleaning and inspection had their usual effect of causing him to become engorged. I instructed him to go get me some ice cubes that I wrapped in the wash cloth and applied to his genitals to rid him of the erection.  While doing so I told him I had plans for him this weekend. After re-locking him I released him to attend to his Saturday chores but told him to be ready to leave at 10:40 for a 11:00 am appointment. On Friday I had called  a local massage business and told them I wanted a massage by someone with strong hands. I was too shy to ask outright for a man to give me a massage as that just feels . . . forward. My strong hands hint did in fact have the result I wanted as I was schedule to be massaged by Derek. When I arrived for the massage with my husband in tow I was introduced to Derek. He was neither handsome, nor hard on the eyes. I am bad with guessing someone's age but I would guess he was 7 or 8 years younger than me.
I told Derek that my husband was there to learn how to do massages as he led me to the room. Derek said he would return in a few minutes and that I should get as undressed as I felt comfortable and to then lie down on the table face down and pull the sheet over me.

I am not sure who was more surprised that I got completely naked, my husband or me. I had never been naked with another man in the room my entire life except for my hubby. After I laid on the table and he covered me with the sheet he settled into the chair in the corner. He looked so cute sitting there holding my clothes. Derek soon entered, adjusted the lights, turned on some music, and proceeded to send me into a relaxing bliss. The 50 minutes went by way far too fast, lost in a blur of rubbing hands and adjusted sheets. It felt somewhat naughty to be touched by another man having only a strategically situated sheet covering so little of me. Part of me worried about what hubby was feeling, but I dismissed those thoughts by reminding myself that he had his chance and blew it. When time was up and Derek excused himself from the room so I could dress, I enjoyed laying there in that room and just relaxing. I so wanted to fall asleep. I had hubby hand me my clothes and dressed in front of him then asked him to take his debit card and go pay the bill and leave Derek a good tip. Because hubby gets just $25.00 per week put into that account I knew it must have hurt a little to spend almost 4 weeks of allowance for another man to massage your wife.

When we arrived home I had hubby make lunch and we ate it on the back deck. The combination of the massage, the meal, and the laziness of a quiet Saturday afternoon had me ready for a nap. I asked husband to please bring me a tea in an hour I was going to lay down. It seems I had just laid down when I found my hair being stroked as he tried to wake me. I sat up and with my tea in one hand and using the other hand to scroll through Pinterest and then Facebook I soon sipped the tea cup empty.

When hubby came in to see what the rest of our day looked like I asked him to sit in the chair and wait. I set my laptop aside and slid down under the sheets and closed my eyes. I almost fell back to sleep. I laid there and looked out the screen door to the back deck and just enjoyed the beauty of the day. Outside it was quiet except for the sounds of nature, we live in the country, and a warmer than usual fall breeze would occasionally blow in bringing with it the smell of apples from our trees. I began to trace my fingers over my body and was surprised how sensual it all felt. I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to wander. The touch became much more intentional as both my hands found their way to just below my belly button and I celebrated my femininity. In fact I celebrated 3 or 4 times and some how finished face down with my rump in the air. 

As the muscle spasms subsided and my breathing returned to normal I peeled away the sheet and approached him still sitting in the chair. Without making eye contact I walked up to him and gently rubbed my fingers under his nose before sliding them into his mouth. 

That evening he asked if we could talk to which I responded that there was nothing to talk about and went about my business. Saturday night we cuddled on the couch and watched a movie of my choosing.  I made sure to have him fetch and do for me.

Sunday night typically is the night that I have a soaking bath and this night was no different except I made sure to involve him in every way I could think. Wash this, brush that, trim there, paint these. 

Our routine for the end of Sunday night is for me to fondle him for a while, we call it "exercise time" before putting the cage back on for the coming week. As we laid in bed I sat up, leaned over him bracing myself on his caged manhood and passionately kissed him. After a few minutes, I whispered into his ear that I was too tired for exercise time tonight and laid back down. I woke up a few hours later with my hand still on his cage. I was surprised he had fallen asleep so I gently rubbed him through the cage until he started to stir and then I went back to sleep.

He will be home in a few hours today and I have a feeling he will be a bit more attentive. What do you think?

26 comments:

  1. Welcome back! Sure miss your blog.
    Thank you for sharing your life with all of us. I guess we all have those times when we feel we could be/should be doing more for each other.
    When I was locked 24/7 by my wife I sometimes felt locked and forgot about. Not always but at times when things just bumped along. Talking about it helped.

    Glad you posted here. Looking forward to the next one!!

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    1. Thank you for the warm welcome. I no longer feel like I should be doing more, I just sometimes fail to do enough. He gives, I receive. That is the way it is designed to work and we are both most happy when we operate that way. But I need to remember to plant the seed that becomes my harvest of pleasure. And I was failing to do that. Not sure if there will be another post, but we shall see. Be good!

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  2. Katie - I too miss your blog. Thank you for sharing such a powerful posting. So great to read the perspective of a powerful and loving woman. Although you are strict with your husband the love that you have for each other comes through. He thrives under your leadership (domination) and you provide a wonderful example for other women when they embrace their own sense of empowerment. I hope you will continue to share your experiences with us.
    Sincerely,
    Mart

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  3. You are amazing Katie. You were able to punish your husband for not his disobedience to you and tease/please him at the same time. How did you reach this point in your FLR. My wife and I have only begun our journey but we seem to have a long way to go to reach the level of intimacy, trust, and female empowerment that you have in your marriage. Thank you for sharing.
    Henry

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    1. Henry, you are too kind. We still feel we have much room for improvement, or at least I feel we do. But getting here has been a process. The biggest step was arriving at the place that we acknowledged the obvious. I was created to receive, he was created to give. Everything revolves around that understanding. To live contrary to that is to deny our very nature. I want my husband to be everything he can be. He is fulfilled in giving and it is my job to provide him that opportunity. That is my role as his wife. And if need be I will hold his feet to the fire when he falls short. That is what any loving wife would do. Best of luck to the both of you.

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  4. A few years ago when my wife began to feel less guilt about things like the work I performed or about my own "manhood" being confined it happened to coincide with me feeling frustrated, tired and confused about the amount of controll my wife had. I rebelled. My wife freaked! I had asked for everything from her controlling the marriage to even chastity use. She said if I want to go back to the way it was then the wlm play was over and she never wanted to hear anything about wife lead marriage again. Otherwise I had better start understanding "my place." It was actually a turning point. I agreed. She took a few privileges away to show me the power she held and confined my manhoood for a significant time. We now have an intimate wife lead marriage and understand each other. Has your husband rebelled?
    FL

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    1. FL, I am so glad that the two of you remain engaged. It would have been tragic. We use to have occasional bouts of rebellion from him. Your wife handled it far better than I did. Those bouts ended when we both came to the understanding, and spoke about it openly, that he is the giver, I am the receiver. It is a powerful moment when a husband is made to look into the eyes of his wife and verbally acknowledge that his role is to give and to ask his wife going forward to make sure he fulfills his obligation always. I need to write about it sometime as that was a very powerful moment for us Going forward, when he would seem to be hesitating I would simply need to remind him of that moment and challenge him to live up to that standard.

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    2. Katie
      Thanks for your comments. I’m sure many people would like to hear about how you handled rebellion with your husband. Rebeling must be fairly common in any relationship of this type.
      FL

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  5. Thank you for writing
    Please write more about your everyday life
    Also is there anywhere else you have written we can read
    Thanks for the post!

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    1. Wayne my friend, that was strike two. It's obvious you do not agree with this form of relating and I respect that. However, I'm asking you to do the same for those that do. Should you respond in a way similar to howyou did here and in a previous post I will be deleting your comments so others do not have to read what you have to say. The ball is in your court.
      I'm Hers

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    2. Oh dear. Im Hers, I hope my post has not caused you any problems. I am heartsick at the possibility. that it has.

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  7. Katie - My wife and I love the story you shared. You made it so that both of your needs were met. As a submissive man I thrive under the direction and authority of my wife. If I were your husband I would be certain to enthusiastically offer you a massage daily from now on! vic

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  8. Wonderful post Katie. When our husbands become we'll trained it is easy to forget about all those motivators for him. The experience you shared demonstrates that men's needs and desires are important in a FLR and it is not all about the wife.

    I find that when I play into his desires there is an immediate increase in his loyalty and obedience to me. Your response to his defiance was genius and I would imagine he is happily at your feet now.

    You will easily get used to being massaged by another man 😊 Hubby and I get couple massages regularly. He is massages by a woman and I am massages by a man but we are all in the same room. It's soo relaxing!

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    2. Mz Kaylee, thank you so very much for your kind words. You are correct, it is all to easy to forget that the attention we receive comes at a great cost of our husbands. Thankfully, it is a small price we have to pay but if not paid we begin to loose the benefit over time. Just today, I remembered that he once told me how sexy he found it that I still could engage in self pleasure while he he was committed to never do it again (and how could he? He is locked). Today I sent him a text message that simply said "Do Not Disturb." He knows that means that when I send him that text I am celebrating my freedom of self pleasure. Nearly an hour later I sent him a text with 3 smiley faces. He also knows what that means. :) Keep up the good work Mz Kaylee.

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  9. I hope all is well with you my friend. It has been a while since we talked. You know that I have a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for you, your words, and your blog.

    This particular post is something special. Thank you for sharing. It is incredibly poignant, intelligent and as such, very erotic. I forwarded the post to Mistress K. and while we were waiting for the movie to start last night, she read it. She said it was wonderful .............. and of course I agree. Thank you for sharing Katie's commentary.

    What is the name of her blog?

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  10. Well done KC....So well planned and executed with all the stealth, strength, and momentum necessary to unavoidably restore the loving normalcy in your home world. Normal means you knew exactly what the results would be for him; he gets so much more by getting far less and I'm sure he will love you all the more for it. Strange equation, but I guess, no, I know, I understand as well.
    I did find an interesting counterpoint, however, in one of comments to your post where FL's wife put it much more directly "She said if I want to go back to the way it was then the wlm play was over and she never wanted to hear anything about wife led marriage again. Otherwise I had better start understanding "my place”. It was actually a turning point. I agreed.".
    Two different ways to offer a choice that wouldn't be made; both effective. It can be kind of a slow path to get to this point, but when you do it is hard to express the closeness I feel for her that I never had at that level before. JT

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    1. JT, Thank you as well for your kind words. I agree with you FL's wife handled his rebellion far better than I would have. Maybe my view of how things should be didn't allow him any options. As I have said to him more than once. Oh honey, we ain't ever going back!

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    2. Katie
      I think my wife was very confident that I would never choose to return to a more traditional marriage when she gave me the ultimatum. So I think never really had an option except to accept what I asked for and consented to anyway. Thanks for comments.
      FL

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  11. Thank you so much I'm Hers for the honor of posting to your blog. It felt good to get my voice out there again.

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  13. Very thought provoking. It's amazing how many parallels can been found in other's stories. It did seem kind of harsh saying you were too tired for 'exercise' but upon rereading it i realize you were giving him back what he gave you.
    You were right on about reaping the harvest you sow. I have just been contemplating that in relationships. There is a cause and effect for everything. Thanks for the post. HWMC

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  14. Ms Katie, I miss your blogging so much. You have a unique perspective that many women, my spouse included, can identify with. I shared this posting with her and we discussed how easy it is to let both of our efforts lapse and become complacent at working on our relationship. Everything you said is so relevant to all of us in this type of relationship. Many times in the past, when I would start to feel discouraged or neglected, your blog and reading I'm Hers blog would help me refocus on what I should be doing for my spouse. I hope you will consider contributing to this blog many more times and if you ever decide to start your own blog again, I want to be a pioneer subscriber.

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    1. Wishful4, you are too kind. Your words meant so much to me.
      Your relationship with your wife is so very worth everything you do.
      But it does take the both of you putting effort for it to work.
      When I think about how little I need to do to keep him engaged, I really have no excuse. Thank you for who you are and what you are doing. Now go back to giving yourself to make your wife happy. It really is the least you can do.

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