Sunday, October 22, 2017

I can hear it in her words

When we first started this venture so many years ago there were more times than not when Katie would say something to the effect of, “Do you want to ……..?”  My response would often be, “So, was that a question?”

Our banter was all in fun but the point to my response was to remind her that she’s the one who is in charge and I’m the one who should be obeying - not deciding.  As time went on her questions became less frequent and were replaced by statements. I think we were both happier with the result.

I started thinking about the way she phrased her sentences that pertained to telling me what she wanted about a month ago. I notice she she started telling me what to do in short clipped sentences and the change from the usual was obvious.  I didn’t know why the change but I sure did enjoy it. “Pick that up.” “Come here.” “Look at this.” “Make me breakfast.” “Rub my back.” “Go make me coffee.”  For about a week she was on a roll and I was loving life.

I found it interesting how my life as her submissive became both more fun and so much easier when she started a sentence with a verb. Go, come, pick, fix, make, do, clean, get, etc. …..  All those little verbs simplified my life and they also reinforced her dominance.

Personally I’d much rather hear, “Make me breakfast,” than have to interpret, “I think I’m getting a little hungry.” The former is so easy to obey. All I need to do is find out what she wants to eat. The latter leaves things hanging. I’m not sure if she’s thinking out loud. I don’t quite know if she wants me to get something ready now or within the hour. I have to ask to figure things out. The “I think I’m getting hungry” comment is akin to “do you want to fix me breakfast?” question. It is both not very directive and it is not at all empowering for her.

I’m all about female empowerment. I want my daughters to be treated like royalty. I don’t want my dad giving my mom a hard time. I want my female co-workers respected. I want Katie to feel like the queen she is.  In order for that to happen women need to have a take-charge attitude. Words are powerful tools that can help make that respect happen.  The more open-ended a statement is; the more often a statement is expressed as a question, the less likely there is for women to get the empowerment they rightly deserve.

I’m Hers


  1. With our words we shape the world, I've heard it said! :)


  2. Totally agree. This past weekend in fact saw a couple examples where my wife didn't even have to use words at all. One, after entering the room and flopping on the couch, she placed her bare feet in my lap and tossed me a bottle of lotion. Nothing was said but I knew what was required of me. Needless to say, she then changed the channel and I was kept busy for a couple hours. Two, while she was on the phone with a friend, she snapped her fingers to get my attention from the adjoining room. When I entered, she pointed to her empty glass of water, making only very brief eye contact with me to ensure I understood. I quickly returned to fill it as she kept talking.