Sunday, December 3, 2017
Katie and I were discussing the international ‘incident’ of the three UCLA basketball players who were caught shoplifting while in China. I don’t know the specifics of what happened other than they were in China for the purpose of playing basketball. I also know they were caught stealing sun glasses. Chinese penalty for such an offense, if proven guilty, was prison time. The sentence could range anywhere from three to ten years.
This incident coincided with Trump's visit and in the end he ‘negotiated’ their release.
In any event the story hit social media and the news and got us talking. I remembered a discussion Katie and I️ had early on in our relationship. She stated on no uncertain terms that if we ever got married and she caught me cheating, we were through. There was no malice in her words. Rather she made a statement of fact and I’ve never forgotten those words.
Now, it’s my hunch that in China, there are not too many who want to risk 5-10 years in a Chinese prison for the reward of a $50 pair of sunglasses. Why? Because the penalty far outweighs the reward.
As a kid one summer I slept in a tent in the back yard of my best friends’ house. We had other intentions besides just sleeping outside and getting bit up by mosquitoes. Sometime during the wee hours of night we dressed, grabbed our flashlights and headed the short distance out of town. Sneaking though a vacant field we crossed a road and snuck, army style, as only ten year olds could do, through another field until coming to Mr. Miller’s farm.
Everyone knew Mr. Miller had a water melon patch but everyone also knew he had a shotgun at the ready with rock salt. We knew of more than one who supposedly sustained injury from one of his blasts. But we were ten so we were invincible. We found the patch and soon found the watermelons – the big oval ones that taste O so good. Grabbing one required both arms and even then we struggled to not drop our prize. Sneaking all the way back home we rejoiced at our stolen goods.
It was then when it dawned on me: I couldn’t take my watermelon home. My father would absolutely tan my hide and march me back to Mr. Miller if he ever found out! Ugh!!! Even now I remember the sick feeling of loss at knowing I️ couldn’t enjoy what I️ had stolen. My best friend’s parents felt differently. He didn’t fear their wrath and in the end, he got to enjoy TWO watermelons that summer.
You see, the level of deterrent will often dictate future behavior. A deterrent is just that. It’s the understanding that if I do ‘this’, ‘that’ will happen. Want to grab the wire surrounding a cow pasture? Be my guest. Want to steal from the local department store? Want to cheat about when you clocked in and clocked out at work, knowing there are security cameras watching you? As in all aspects of life, choices, both good and bad often result in a subsequent reaction.
As a mistress and a submissive, there is an understanding of who can do what, what is expected from each party and ….. hopefully a ‘spelled out understanding’ as to what will happen to the submissive should he intentionally (or possibly unintentionally) violate a predetermined behavior. How strict the mistress enforces understood rules will determine in large measure how well those rules are followed.
For example, she might have a rule that all wash is to be done during the weekend. If wash is not folded and put away before bed on Sunday, what does she do? How should she handle seeing a load still in the dryer? What consequences, if any need to take place?
If the answer is nothing, what message does that convey? If the answer is one day without TV for every article of clothing left in the dryer, what message does that consequence convey? The penalty might sound harsh but in the end, isn’t that penalty somewhat like the Chinese penalty for shop lifting? Both go a long way to curb undesired behavior.
Leading and following work hand in hand. For the submissive, knowing where not to go, what not to do, and clearly understanding what will happen if a bad choice is made is not a punishment rendered on the part of the wife but a gift she gives . It really is. There is no difference between this and punishing a child for misbehavior. To not punish is to raise a child ill-fit to become an adult and live within the laws of our country. Doubt me? Just watch the news to see what UCLA chooses to do/not do. My guess is they will do nothing. And doesn’t that speak volumes.
Enjoy your week.