Saturday, July 21, 2018

Ups and Downs …. and Ups

The other day a very good friend wrote asking how Katie was doing. She and Katie had been apparently writing every now and again and it was her belief that things were on the up and up with us and our WLM. I responded with a short note letting her know things had pretty much fallen apart in the last month and were back to where they were in the spring when we had our troubles. I told this friend I’d probably bring ‘us’ up with Katie but really didn’t want to. It had been my hope that Katie would lead our discussions when it came to talking about our dominant/submissive relationship. But I needed to get some feelings and thoughts out in the open and learn what she was thinking and feeling about us.

So, on a Sunday evening we sat out back and watched the birds and enjoyed the flowers. I broached the subject. We had one of those really good talks. Katie agreed she had let things slide and needed to get things back on track with me. Once again I asked if she’d step out in faith and simply take me and take us on a path she wanted us to pursue. And so she did. That evening she displayed a different demeanor. She became more in control. She gave orders. She told me what she wanted me to do and what she wanted to change. She didn’t tolerate me lolly-dolling around after telling me to do something. I loved the renewed her.

The following day we sat out back as the sun set and again talked. Again, it was another good one. And the following day we talked some more but this time she said something that set me off. It wasn’t anything big. Rather it was something said that I took personally and after I had hit a boiling point with regard to her assuming control rather than passing it off onto me. And of course, I reacted by feeling hurt and shutting down. I simply couldn’t shake the hurt and so I psychologically crawled into my shell for the evening. That night I couldn’t asleep and my guess is she couldn’t either for the same reason – marital stress. I ended up getting up at midnight and going into my shop and working for an hour on an ongoing house project. It was a first for me - working there in the nude :). Thank goodness there's no windows in that room.

When I returned to bed, I didn’t want snuggle her but I wanted to hold her more than anything all the same. Eventually I let my wall down and spooned behind. Come morning she curled up to me. Her cuddling led to her touching and fondling and focusing on that part of me that is sensitive to becoming excited. After getting me in the state she wanted she put it between her legs and her hip motions began. A minute or so later she mounted me and took me like she hadn’t in a long long time. Usually our lovemaking times are softer but this was different. This was all about her getting what she wanted and she definitely accomplished that purpose. All that was missing was her telling me, ‘you belong to me!’ That would have been the icing on the cake but the morning began in a way that was exactly what I needed. I needed to be dominated. What she did brought me back under her wing.

An hour or so later we lay on the ground huffing and puffing after doing some core exercises together. She rolled my way and pulled me in aggressively and started making out. I wasn’t feeling those soft 'I love you kisses'. This was much more. I felt her passion and once more, her actions touched me deep inside.

Around the dinner hour Katie received a text from one of her girlfriends asking if she wanted to go out. “I’m out with my hubby but he can drop me off at our usual place." And so I did, leaving her with her two friends while I headed home to work on that house project some more. Some while later I received a text. “Clean the dining room. Clean the living room. Make the house presentable. Janice and Jane are coming over.”

My project suddenly became an after thought while I vacuumed, dusted and did what she wanted. Her initial text was followed by a few more with more instructions.

After her friends left and we stood alone in the living room. I saw that look and heard her sigh‘that lustful sigh’. Katie pulled me close and started grinding on my cage. I could tell she was getting worked up. Another few sighs followed and I wondered if she was going to finish right then or there, tell me to go upstairs or maybe save that sexual energy for bedtime. She didn't finish and time will tell if more will be expected of me later. It’s not bedtime at the time of this writing.

So…… where am I going with this post? Who in the world knows. Last week I wrote about wanting to be taken completely. I went a few weeks feeling anything but belonging to her. So many of the changes she instituted she abandoned and I had no idea why. But everything changed after our weekend talk. The cage went back on. The pledge was restarted as a morning expectation – and as an aside, today while I was upstairs making the bed and straightening the bedroom she came to me and told me to kneel and recite it. She didn't wait for me to find her seated in her chair. Today was a 'kneel ant tell me your pledge' morning. It’s things like that which gives me hope she might really take me completely. All that’s missing is the consistency of taking me on a daily basis. - and of course - feeling entitled to discipline me - that's the final hurdle.


We spent time in a not-so-good place for almost a month but have moved to a better place. My hope is we can stay there. My hope is she will step up once and for all. My hope is she will learn to take and expect and use and express herself as the dominant women she is in so many ways. God, I love it when she expresses such confidence!

I’m Hers

5 comments:

  1. Thanks again for sharing yourself. Because you do, we are encouraged to strive for similar things in our life and are reminded that we're not the only ones who have the ups and downs. Know we are grateful and wait for your next blog. K & S

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    1. K & S, Thanks so much. For as much as I have aired our dirty laundry over the past year, there's been a purpose for doing so. Partly, I wanted to share our struggles in the hope that others could read about our lives from afar - to objectively see where we've done right and/or gone wrong. But I've also done so because I know without a doubt that in the end, we will figure this out. How sweet that time will be. None of our struggles (more my struggle than Katie's) has impacted the depth of love I have for this woman.

      Thanks so much for your comment!

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  2. I’m Hers
    Things are looking up for you. But sometimes something is true, like belonging or the threat of discipline, without it being directly said or done. My wife often threatens some discipline when I give her a hard time, though doesn’t carry out the threat. But she does verbally discipline me and I usually don’t press the matter further. I know you said you’re not into humiliation, but sometimes subtle humiliation can be a form of enjoyment and discipline. I was recently being opinionated in a negative way about some people we know. My wife, out of nowhere, said, “You know you may be right, but look at yourself. Some people would say your just a bald headed man that likes to stay locked in a chastity device and denied. Don’t throw stones.” Wow. It gave me a submissive rush but it was also a subtle form of discipline for me talking nasty. My wife knows I’m sensitive about having to finally give in to baldness (she likes me hairless), and isn’t above throwing it up to me when I criticize. Perhaps Katie would be more willing to verbally discipline you if you discuss it with her. FL

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    1. Always good to here from you FL. You know, for as much as I want Katie to be able to discipline me, it's not that I look forward to her doing so. But I agree, it's knowing that option is in her toolbag - that she is willing to do so. The only way I will know if it is, is if she opts to discipline at some point. The fact that she would, would probably do a couple of things - cause me to respect her more (and obey to a greater extent when I wish not to) and empower her as head of household. Both would be good for us and our relationship.

      And you're right.... I'm not into humiliation and I'm positive she would never use that tactic. Most likely she'd take away something I enjoy (that's just a guess, but I do know her pretty well :) )

      Time will tell:)

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  3. I’m Hers,
    Each couple hopefully carries on in ways that make them happy. I wouldn’t say “humiliation” is the word that describes it when my wife corrects me, since she does verbal correction without making fun or me or putting me down and not without good reason. But I asked my wife for this modification in our marriage and she took the bull by the horns. I don’t think I want to temp her growing tired of correcting me and giving up control of the relationship. A threat of doing that, which she has done a few times over the years, is a form of potential discipline she can apply since I wouldn’t want her go back to the way things were in pre-wife led times. FL

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