And so I am violating protocol. I’m going to post this without allowing Katie to first read what I have to say. But in my defense, I have my reasons and I believe she would approve. So hear goes.
Last week I posted on the topic of a dominant wife’s need to fully take her husband in order for her to fully enjoy all he is able to give. I stand by my words. I believe that if a woman fully accepts her responsibility to dominate she (and he) will experience intimacy at a level unparalleled when compared to only giving lip-service to living in a wife led marriage. Many of you commented stating your agreement with my premise. Others suggested I not press on but instead drop the issue. Personally, I don’t want to drop the issue. I want to press on. I want her to come to the point where she has the confidence to do what she wants – and even, do what she wants to me – because she has the right to do so.
After writing, I received an email from a dominant woman. She sided with those of you who believed I should walk carefully. In part she said the following: “I am not at all suggesting that you be satisfied with the status quo, but you do need to exercise caution. In spite of all the benefits your Katie is reaping from this relationship, it is toxic to her if she feels that she is always falling short in your eyes. Few things will cause a woman to retreat from something as the ever-present reminder of failure. You will gain more ground if you can exercise patience, and for every one "suggestion" provide her with 10 compliments. Make her feel good about you doing more for her. Treat her like royalty without expecting her to treat you like a slave.”
Maybe it was the tone of this woman’s letter. Maybe it was my state of mind at the time I read her note. For whatever reason, her words touched my heart and in them I saw the flaw of me wanting (and pushing her for more) when instead I need to focus on giving. I need to let go. I must let go. I need to affirm. I need to pursue. I need to initiate. I need to love. I need to value. I need to be forever grateful for her accepting my submission and assuming leadership of our home.
And so I have decided to embrace all the gifts this woman I love currently gives me. Since that decision, it’s been a joy to kneel and pledge my love and submission each morning. Performing chores has become less burdensome. I don’t expect a ‘great job’ after completing one or many. I simply do them because I know that is what she wants from me. I do them because that is what a submissive husband does. He is not her equal. I am not her equal. I live to serve and that is what I must do.
I don’t want Katie to know the motivation for me acting more positive. All I want her to see is a different me. I want her to enjoy a husband who does all she asks and more without question. I want her to not be burdened with being the dominant partner. I don’t want her to have to deal with a husband who appears less than pleased but not know why. I want her to reflect on my efforts when I am away and feel good about all I do and feel good about my obedience and know she has has a husband she can’t help but please.
I am going to affirm, affirm, affirm. I want her to feel my unbridled love. Of course, my hope is she will want to someday be comfortable enough to more fully assert her dominance and take from me a little more. For now, I will be content to submit and submit only – and remain content doing so.
Love to hear your thoughts.