I don't remember the context of this particular show but at one point Dr. Phil made the comment that the strongest emotional need a person has is to be accepted. The strongest negative emotion a person can experience is rejection. Katie and I were watching the show together. I said aloud, "Amen!"
How true his assessment. Isn't he so right? There is no better feeling than to be accepted and no worse one than to be rejected.
If you have not been reading the Pizza series (and comments) on Kathy's Femdom 101 blog you really should. There is a thoughtful discussion going on over there. One gentleman commented on a recent post who advocated all who were engaged in female dominance and male submission to reject this lifestyle in lieu of a traditional marriage. Kathy eloquently responded. She acknowledged his position. She provided insightful responses. She did not attack his position.
This discussion made me think of my position. Why did I submit after having lived for so long as a "traditional" male? Have I placed an unnecessary burden on my wife? She told me just yesterday she feels as if she sometimes can't provide for me all I need. (How sad I felt when hearing that).
Rather than divulging my thoughts surrounding Katie's comment I will instead pose a couple questions. How does your spouse reassure you that you are accepted? What do you do to reassure them that you wholeheartedly accept them? We need not forget every relationship is two-way. It takes effort on both parties. In regard to your FLR, how do the two of you demonstrate your acceptance of one another in your respective roles?
Take time out of your day - even ten minutes. Find a quiet place. Turn off the distractions - TV, radio, cell phone - and contemplate these questions. Let your conscious speak and respond accordingly.
When my wife made the above comment we were at a restaurant having lunch. My response was, "but isn't the effort worth it given how close we are as a couple?" And so I ask you, isn't your effort to accept your spouse in the ways they most need more than worth the effort?